I'm A Believer

It's Christmas Eve…probably my most favorite day of the year.

When I was growing up, Christmas Eve seemed to last foooorrrreeeevvvveeeerrrrr…time seemed to stop, and the hands on the clock seemed frozen in time. And yet, that was okay, as the anticipation of what Santa Claus was bringing gave me an adrenaline rush that lasted all day.

We would sometimes visit friends…sometimes visit Midnight Mass at church, if we could stay up that late…and sometimes just sit quietly at home, watching a Christmas classic, such as "It's A Wonderful Life." If we could beg and plead and whine long enough, Mom and Dad would sometimes let us open up a Christmas gift early…but it would usually be something like underwear, or pajamas, so gah - what was the point to THAT??!!

One Christmas Eve, I took my usual book to bed, and became totally engrossed in whatever magical story I was reading at the time…and lost track of time. Suddenly, I heard footsteps…on the roof. Oh. My. God. I had stayed up so late that I was now awake during Santa's visit - the Big Man himself - and I was totally petrified. As in, my heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I could not breathe.

"HE KNOWS IF YOU'RE AWAKE" kept repeating in my head, and I knew - just KNEW - that I would now lose out on Christmas, since I had not been sleeping, like I should have been. My folks had ingrained in us that if we were not sleeping during Santa's visit, he would skip over our house. YIKES. I was so screwed. Diving under the covers, I lay there, shaking, hardly daring to take a breath in case Santa heard. For a few minutes, I hid in fear…and then…thinking I had surely given him enough time to do his thing, I hopped out of bed, peered out my window - and I swear…I SWEAR TO THIS DAY…that I saw his sleigh and reindeer take off for the next house.

I flew back to bed, still so hyped up that it seemed like hours before I fell back asleep. Imagine my trepidation the next morning, wondering if there would be anything - ANYTHING - under the tree for me. At this point, I would have been happy with underwear or pajamas - so imagine my relief when it became evident that Santa had not "punished" me with a lump of coal for daring to be awake during his midnight visit.

TO THIS DAY, I STILL SWEAR I HEARD SANTA ON MY ROOF THAT NIGHT.

Don't ask me how. Don't even ask me how I saw his sleigh take off.

But I did.

As I grew up and had my own family, with a house full of children and grandchildren, my magic is now in watching others open up their presents. I could watch all day - seeing the delight in their face, hearing their squeal of delight - it never gets old. That's the best present I could ever have…being surrounded by the ones I love, and seeing joy on their faces.

Tonight, we will head down to our local theater, where we will watch some extremely talented actors put on "A Christmas Carol". It's become our newest tradition - for the last five years or so, anyway - and we enjoy it. Hearing Dickens' tale of how Scrooge was transformed on Christmas Eve never gets old for us…and then we'll head home, enjoy some chili from the crockpot, and then head to bed.

I'll pick up my Kindle, and I'll become engrossed in my newest magical story of choice…and maybe…just maybe…I'll manage to stay awake long enough to hear those familiar footsteps on my roof again.

Because when it's all said and done…yes, Virginia…there really IS a Santa Claus.

Peace.

Nightmare Before Christmas

About a week ago, the cold and flu train roared through my house, running me over and leaving me flattened in it's wake.

I pretty much crawled into bed on Sunday, December 15th…and that's the last thing that I remember. I didn't really, truly emerge until yesterday. That's when I somewhat foggily awoke from my cold-induced, drug-fed coma, and realized that Christmas was a mere three days away.

Wait, what?

Three days away???!!

Well…damn.

I LOST AN ENTIRE WEEK OF MY LIFE DURING THE MOST BUSIEST, STRESSFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!!!!!

Sigh.

If that isn't bad enough, I also realized that we are having a party. Tonight. For about forty people.

Here. At my house.

The house that LOOKS like I've been in a cold-induced, drug-fed coma for a week.

Double-damn.

I keep waiting for someone to tell me I've been punk'd, and that this is all a bad dream - but no such luck. It's real. It's happening. Our annual Reindeer Games is ON like Donkey Kong…(it was supposed to be Saturday night, but was postponed due to the weather. Gah.)

So…I may not have the house perfect tonight…and that's okay. My tinsel may be dusty, and my Christmas tree may have enough cobwebs on it to look more like Halloween…and that's okay.

I may not have all of the planned baking done…and that's okay. My dips may be warm, and my veggies not-so-chopped…and that's okay.

There will be food, but perhaps not gourmet…and there will be cold beer and delicious wine…and there will be a house full of people that hopefully won't care about the dust and the cobwebs and the lack of fresh, baked cookies and breads…. Family and friends are forgiving like that.

So…off to get things ready. I'm going to at least dust off the stereo.

Peace.

The Big Game

There's not been too many times in my lifetime where I have been SO shocked, SO surprised, and SO amazed, that it's reduced to me to tears.

Last week was one of those times.

There are three things in life that I'm passionate about. (Okay - actually - I'm passionate about a lot of things, but for the sake of this story, let's just focus on THESE particular three things. Just go with it.)

Those three things are:

#1. football

#2. University of Missouri (Go, Tigers!)

#3. Auburn University (Go, War Eagle!)

A week or so ago, after the Saturday football games had completed and Auburn University had shocked the nation when they beat Alabama on the final play of the game, and the moon was in the Seventh House, and Jupiter aligned with Mars…

…it dawned on me that my #1 favorite team, Missouri, would be playing my #2 favorite team, Auburn, in the SEC Championship football game in Atlanta. On December 7.

HOLY MOTHER OF PERFECT FOOTBALL TRIFECTA AND HOLY GRAIL, BATMAN!!!!!

Have you ever joked with your significant other about something so ridiculous, so insane, that you would never dream they'd take you serious? Kinda' like, "Hey, honey - let's go to Bora Bora tomorrow!" Or…"Hey, sweetie - let's sell everything we own and buy a yacht and cruise around the world?"

So…I joked with Hubby, "Hey, Hubby - wouldn't it be awesome to get tickets to that SEC game with Missouri and Auburn? In Atlanta?"

Imagine my shock…my surprise…my amazement…when he replied, "Yes, it would. It would be totally awesome. Why don't you get tickets for you and son?"

Of course I looked at him like he'd just sprouted two extra heads and fifty extra eyeballs.

"Are you CRAZY??!!" I said, adding, "Don't even JOKE with me about that."

He said, "I'm not joking. Do it. Merry Christmas!"

Well. I pretty much fainted. Then I freaked out. Then I fainted again. Remember all those videos that parents post on YouTube where kids are jumping up and down, screaming in ecstasy, because Santa Claus brought them the GIFT OF A LIFETIME??!!

Yeah. That was me.

After I recovered from the sheer shock, I went. And I took my son, who is as passionate about football as I am, even if he's not a Missouri or Auburn fan - gah. (He roots for Oklahoma…don't ask why, because I have NO idea. I agreed to take him after he pinky-swore that he would NOT wear Oklahoma crimson, which could be misconstrued as Alabama crimson (Crimson Tide, anyone??!) in which case we'd get totally killed by some irate Auburn fan. He, wisely, agreed to this.)

We had an awesome time…words can't describe how much fun we had. Here's a photo montage of what our weekend was like:


First, we caught a charter plane to Atlanta…180 passengers, decked out in black and gold, and passionate about Missouri




We stayed at the impressive Hyatt Regency in downtown Atlanta, who decked their halls especially for us...




Son and I spent Friday afternoon walking around downtown Atlanta, including making a trip to the Georgia Dome. See that guy in the bottom right corner in a red shirt? Little did we know...




…that he was a reporter for a news station out of Birmingham, AL - who caught up with son and I for a "man on the street" interview. If you want to see the entire interview, click HERE.




We then got gussied up for a cocktail party for Mizzou fans and alumni later Friday night...




Here, we noshed on some goodies, met some fellow passionate fans, and loaded up on some free Mizzou souvenirs...




After the party, we met up with a high school friend of mine, Allison, who coincidentally lives in Atlanta. We had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, and would never have dreamed that we would be the ONLY Missouri fans in a sea of Auburn fans. They were chanting, screaming, and having a great time…which left us feeling a bit outnumbered! It was great, though, to see Allison again!




Saturday was Game Day! Here's some of the bling that we gathered…all of this would be worn/carried to the game!




After getting decked out with our bling, lucky scarf, pompoms, etc - it was time to leave for the tailgate party...




The Tailgate Party was amazing! Food, drink, the marching band, cheerleaders, chancellor of Missouri - and 6,500 fans! It was a true sea of black and gold, and we spent some time watching the Missouri basketball team beat UCLA on some giant TV screens. We happened to meet up with some fans from our own little small town, and we had a great time pre-game….



A "selfie" at the tailgate party…




Soon, we were at the game…where we had the BEST SEATS EVER!!! We were on the 32-yard line, in the upper deck, in the first row! A birds-eye view of the action on the field…where we watched both bands come out to perform the National Anthem...




Soon, it was kick-off…and the game began. WHAT A GAME! We thought we came for a football game…ended up being at a track meet, where we saw 100-yard dashes up and down the field. Back and forth went the score - first, Missouri up…Go, Mizzou! Then Auburn was ahead…go, War Eagle! WHO WOULD PREVAIL??!! Such a nail-biter!!!!




When it was all done, Auburn won by a score of 59-42…certainly the highest scoring game I've ever witnessed in person! At the end of the game, the fireworks went off and the streamers fell…and although my #1 team lost, my #2 team won…so I was happy. And VERY PROUD of my Tigers!!! Both of them - hee hee!!!



#26 on my Bucket List (located on the right side of this page) can now be crossed off…and I came back to Kansas City one happy, happy girl.


The cost of the weekend:

Tickets to the SEC Championship Game: $200

Airfare/Motel costs for a weekend in Atlanta: $1,300

Spending it with my fellow-football-loving son: Priceless

Peace.

Post-Holiday Reflections

Christmas has come and gone...and here I sit...still wearing my "lovely" black boot on my broken right foot...sigh.

The accident was on Wednesday, December 19th...NOT good timing when it comes to the holiday season. Fortunately, I had finished 100% of my gift-shopping; however, I still had some holiday baking/cooking to do, and trips to the grocery store were in order. Apparently, everyone else had the same idea...as about 9,252 other people were buying last minute groceries over the weekend. Fun, I'm tellin' ya. Not.

Our annual Reindeer Games Party was held on Saturday, December 22nd...I think it was a huge success, considering we had almost 50 people over for five hours. We had food, drink, games, and merriment - and my foot didn't protest too much until the evening was over. I tried to behave myself for most of the evening, but a challenge to play ping-pong with my brother was too good to pass up...although my foot was NOT happy about jumping around a ping-pong table. It was all worth it, though, when I managed to beat my brother not once, but TWICE.... Yes. I am competitive. How can you tell?

Games of Kerplunk (I won), Connect-Four (yup, I won again), Operation (lost that game - I DON'T have a steady hand), Battleship (never got a chance to play), among others...offered lots of opportunities for our friends and family to sit back, relax, and have some much-needed fun so close to the holiday. The evening was topped with a massive gift-exchange with our grandchildren, nephews, and nieces - and it was a true joy to see the delight after the ribbons, paper and bows were torn, tossed and discarded. All the past weeks, slaving over the internet in search of perfect gifts for everyone, came together in these moments - and I was truly tickled.

Sunday was spent in massive clean-up...our house looked pretty much like a war zone, and if there's one thing I can't stand, is a dirty house. Especially before Santa is due to arrive. Yikes. So...the day was spent watching the Chiefs lose yet another football game (sigh), while dusting and mopping and vacuuming. I'd have delegated a lot of this to Hubby, if I could...but he conveniently decided to make a trip to Columbia, Missouri to visit the one daughter who was unable to make it to the party the night before. What good timing on his part...amazing.

As Hubby was unavailable, I looked to my 13-year old daughter to help...but she conveniently was at her grandparents' house for the Annual Cookie Baking/Decorating Party...sigh. And the older sons were either at work or visiting friends....So that left...me. Actually, I rather enjoyed the peace and quiet that pervaded the house...as it was a nice respite from the chaos and craziness from the night before.

Monday was Christmas Eve...and I woke up to find not one, but TWO sickies in the house. Hubby had come down with a bad case of the stomach flu, complete with fever...while Daughter was suffering from a bad head cold. That evening, Daughter and I headed down for our annual "A Christmas Carol" theater night at our local Repertory Theater...while Hubby stayed in bed. The show was good...as usual...but it wasn't the same without Hubby. And speaking of Hubby...he's normally an angel, but when he's sick...ack. I got to be Mom, Nurse, AND Santa that night...I was running pretty ragged, while hobbling everywhere on my lovely black boot.

Christmas Day...what a true joy. This year, Santa brought lots of small things...but not necessarily any "big" items...no Kindles, iPads, or Wii's - as we already have those from previous Christmases. The kids all seemed happy...Hubby seemed happy...so that made me happy. After a delicious breakfast of cinnamon rolls, we headed over to my parents' house for our annual get-together with my family...and another fun day ensued. My parents are both in their 70's...and I treasure the time I have with them.

For the past several months, I have been working on putting our family history together...doing a lot of research on the internet, as well as interviews, with various family members. I traced both my father's AND my mother's side back to pre-Revolutionary War...and I found funny stories and quirky trivia along the way. My project ended up being almost 70-pages long, and a quick trip to the printer was in order last Friday. On Christmas Day, I presented bound copies to my own kids, as well as copies to my brother, my sister, and my parents. Was it a fancy gift? No. Was it expensive? No. But I think...when it was all said and done...it was the best present that I gave this year....

As for me? What was the best present I received? My best present was the presence...of my family...my friends...my pets...of the love that we felt this holiday season. Even with a bum foot...hobbling in pain...I was never so happy...!

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas...however you chose to celebrate it.

Peace.

Christmas Musings

Merry Christmas, everyone!

It's been a whirlwind of activity at our house the last few days...what with the normal hustle & bustle of the holidays, we also celebrate my husband's birthday on Christmas Day...which really sucks, when you think about it, as it kinda' gets lost in the whirlwind. Go figure.

Yup - it's not enough that I have 27 people (I counted) on my Christmas list to buy & wrap presents for...it dawns on me every year at the last minute that, "YIKES! I have to buy a birthday present for Hubby!!!!" And then panic sets in.

You would think after 13 years of marriage that I would KNOW his birthday is on Christmas Day and I would buy his gift early.

But nope. Always the last thought on my poor, Christmas-addled brain.

To top everything off this year, Hubby has decided to get sick...he's been suffering from the sniffles for the last few days, and has been pretty much out of action. So, that has left everything Christmas-related to me...

We spent Christmas Eve watching the Chiefs lose (again), and because I have too much ADHD, and can't just sit still and watch a game, I decided to bake.

And bake I did...I baked 3 dozen oatmeal scotchies and 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies...yum. Yum - but kinda' tiring, going back and forth to the oven, over and over again, pulling baking sheets out and putting them in. Again. And again. And again.


Don't they look yummy? And they WERE yummy! Some of my best cookies, YET!

I also made a HUGE batch of delicious Taco Soup in the crock-pot, which simmered and stewed all day...sending wafts of delicious aromas into the air, along with the smells of cinnamon and freshly-baked cookies.

We then put on some fancy clothes and headed downtown to a local theater, for our annual tradition of watching a live performance of "A Christmas Carol." It's always a heartwarming performance, which really gets us in the mood for Christmas, as it sends such a powerful message of love, humility and generosity.


Daughter and I, enjoying some "Dickens" cheer at the theater...

After the show, we headed through the streets of the Country Club Plaza, where we took in the thousands and thousands of lights. The lights have come on now for 82 years, and if you live anywhere near Kansas City at Christmas, then it's almost mandatory to make a visit to the Plaza for the spectacle.


Normally, it's bumper-to-bumper traffic, but we've discovered that it's EMPTY on Christmas Eve - woot!

Then, it was time to come home...it's now about 8:30 pm...and the Taco Soup is now calling our names...yum.

After dinner, we watched "It's A Wonderful Life" on television...we love this movie, and love it even more, knowing that the actress who plays "ZuZu", Karolyn Grimes, lives nearby us....


She even autographed an ornament for me a few years ago which hangs proudly on my tree!

I eventually left the movie a bit early, so I could join my parents for Christmas Eve services at their church. The service began at 11:00 pm, and I was getting a little sleepy (you think???!), but I managed to stay awake and not embarrass myself by sleeping. Or snoring. Hee.

I got home in the wee hours of the morning - around 12:30 a.m...and still had to do "Santa" duty...as Hubby was sound asleep in bed, knocked out by massive doses of cold medicine. Yup - setting out cookies and milk, and then making sure all was in order for the Big Guy's Visit - I finally turned in around 1:30 a.m.

And promptly tossed and turned with insomnia for a few hours.

Sucks being me sometimes.

Anyway, we had a wonderful Christmas, and I hope all of you did, too.

As Tiny Tim says, "God Bless Us, Everyone!"

Peace.

Monsters vs Elf

Our resident elf, Buddy Crocker, has decided to make the most of the short time he has left at our house...because, as we all know, once Christmas arrives, he's headed back up to the North Pole for the next 11 months until he deigns to visit us again.

And after the stunt he pulled this morning, I wouldn't be upset if he decided to cut his visit here short and head back to the land of snow and sugar and syrup early. As in...right now.

After a very restless night of sleep, I stumbled sleepily to the kitchen and found Buddy engaged in an epic snowball fight...

...with some other nightly visitors to our house....

...the Monsters.



You know...the Monsters...who went all-Hollywood a few years back when they starred in their own movie, "Monsters, Inc".

Sully, Mike Wozowski and gang.

Yes, there was Sully, caught red-handed (red-pawed?) with a snowball in hand...while Randall lurked behind him, cowardly as usual...and the boss, Mr. Waternoose, giving orders from the right flank.

There was no sign of Mike Wozowski, so all I can deduce is that Mike was out doing what he was SUPPOSED to be doing, as in collecting laughter from the children...while the rest of the Monster gang was fooling around with Buddy.

When my daughter saw what was going on, she was understandably a little freaked out, realizing that our house gets visited by all SORTS of creatures every night...Monsters...Elves...who knows what else??!!

As upset as I was initially to have to clean up snowballs in my house - on wooden floors, no less - I had a hard time staying mad....

...as I'm rather partial to Sully, as this photo from this past summer will attest:



With hugs & love like that, what's a Mom to do?

Peace.

Dealing with Puddles

This morning, we woke up to the sight of Buddy the Elf having a meltdown...over the meltdown of his good friend, Frosty.

Yes, Buddy was prostrate with grief...the wailing, the sobbing, the gnashing of teeth...it was terrible. I was surprised he hadn't woken the kids, what with the haunting sounds of elf grief filling the house.

It wasn't until I reminded Buddy of Frosty's own words, "I'll be back again some day!", that he managed to snap out of his depression. Geesh.

Who knew that Elf Grief Counseling was part of my job? Like I don't have enough to do this time of year...and now I'm having to wipe up puddles of Frosty, as well as puddles of Elf tears.

Peace.

Red Solo Cup

"Red solo cup...I fill you up...

Let's have a party!"

And so we did.

Last night was our annual Reindeer Games Night, where we set up dozens of games and invite friends and family over to embarrass themselves have fun...

Of course, we throw in some alcohol and munchies, and it's usually a night to remember.


Now, there's a recipe for fun...

It began, though, on a rather peculiar note.

The party was scheduled to begin at 5:00 pm...Hubby and I rushed around all afternoon like banshees, to insure that everything was perfect...we had food, candles, games, booze, music - everything that a perfect party needs for perfect ambiance.

And then...we waited.

And no one was showing up.

WTH? Where WAS everyone?

By 5:15, I couldn't stand it...so I called my mom to see where she was...because on any OTHER given party night, my parents are usually 15 minutes early, which drives me totally crazy, so now that it was 15 minutes past-party-time, I knew something had to be wrong.

"Mom," I began, "Where the heck ARE you?"

My mom calmly replies, "What do you mean, where am I? I'm at home. Why?"

"Because no one is HERE," I whined, in my best whiney voice. "I can't believe no one is here yet. FORTY invites, and no one is here yet!!!!" This last was said with a bit of panic thrown in.

You'd panic, too, if you had enough food and drinks to feed an army, and NO ONE was THERE.

My mom paused for a minute, and then patiently said, "Uh...it's because it's only 5:15. Your invitation said the party starts at 6:30."

WHAT???!!!

Yup. 'Tis true.

My own party - that I made out the invitations for - was not to begin until 6:30....but I had it in my head that it was to begin at 5:00.

My bad.

(Did I mention that I'm blonde???!)

Imagine the look that Hubby gave me when I said I had goofed, which is a rare event, I know, but that we still had 90 minutes until the start of the party, ha ha, and we didn't have to rush around as much as what we thought we had to....sorry.

Anyway, once everyone DID show up, we had a lot of fun...playing Kerplunk, Operation, pool, Connect Four, and various other games...of which I lost Every. Single. Game. I. Played. (is that a record??!)

...Check out this bit of Twister with my Hubby, my stepson, and my brother-in-law...as they all try to figure out which hand goes on which dot.



Priceless.

Peace.

All Wrapped Up

Last night, Hubby and I went downtown and watched The Blue Man Group.



Amazing.

At one point, I looked over at Hubby, and he was crying. From laughter. I don't see that too often, but there he was - with his glasses off, and wiping his eyes...yeah, the BMG was THAT good.

We'd seen them in Vegas a few years ago, so we knew what to expect, but we were still pretty much blown away.

If you've never seen them, they're somewhat mimes - think 21st-century mimes - with music, technology and visual arts - all wrapped up in comedy.

You can expect marshmallows, twinkies, neon-colored paint, giant balls, and toilet paper streamers. Among other things.

After a late night, I slept in a bit this morning, only to wake up and find Buddy Crocker had been busy:



My first thought was, he was inspired by The Blue Man Group and was streaming our bathroom - much like the BMG stream the theater....

However, Buddy indicated that last night was "Wrapping Night" at the North Pole, where Santa and Mrs. Claus had set up a giant assembly line of wrapping, and all the elves and reindeer enjoyed feasts of hot chocolate, marshmallows, and syrup while they wrapped. And wrapped. And wrapped.

When he got back from the NP this morning, Buddy decided that our bathroom needed wrapping, as well.

I guess I should be thankful that it wasn't remodeling night at the North Pole - I would have caught him trying to re-paint the bathroom, and heaven only knows what color he would have used.

Yikes.

Midnight Pizza Antics

Just a heads-up…I’m NOT in a good mood today.

My sleep was disrupted last night by the sound of…partying.

Laughing. Shrieking. Giggling. Belching.

At first, I thought it might just be a bad dream, but then I heard a distinctive voice say, “There’s a snake in my boot!”

And there’s only one guy who says that…

Woody. From “Toy Story”.

I HAD to get up to investigate…and when I did, I found THIS little tableau in my living room:



Buddy Crocker, our resident Elf, had hosted a pizza party last night, and had invited a few of his friends:

…there was Barbie, in her little seductive Christmas-green slinky dress and wind-blown hair…

…there was Woody, in a root beer-induced drunken stupor, moping and whining to anyone who would listen because Jessie had dumped him yesterday…

…and there was some weird dude with big, muscular arms and war-paint on his face. The guy is wearing camo pants and a Frank Sinatra hat – what’s with THAT??!! And with his 6-pack abs, he appears to be a toy version of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from the Jersey Shore…

And Buddy, the host…sipping his milk, looking all so innocent…when I KNOW that it was MY credit card he used to pay for that pizza…and heaven knows what kind of tip he gave the delivery guy.

Wait a minute. Maybe the guy in the Sinatra hat IS the delivery guy....?

At least they saved me a slice.

Peace.

Heigh Ho, Prancer - Away!

Our Elf is making himself quite at home.

Upon further questioning, we found out that Crocker has a first name...which, only makes sense, because EVERYONE has a first name, right?

So, wanna' know what it is? Of course you do.

It's Buddy.

Duh.

His last name IS Crocker, after all - so what else would his name be but Buddy Crocker...??!!

(Okay, if you're not into old cookbooks or fudgy, delicious brownies, I guess you don't get the joke.)

Anyway, this morning, we found Buddy riding the open range of our living room:



Apparently, he's picked up a riding partner - Jessie - and the two of them were whooping it up, bareback, on the reindeer.

Buddy even donned golden cowboy boots for the occasion - which I noticed Jessie eyeing with a little bit of envy...and who can blame her, right? Because all women love golden cowboy boots.

I sure hope Woody isn't the jealous sort, but hey, I figure if he liked it, he could have put a ring on it. Which he didn't. So Jessie is free to ride reindeer with anyone she chooses.

You go, Buddy Crocker.

Heigh ho, Prancer - away!

Peace.

It's Heeeeeeeeerrrrrreeeee!

Damn it.

I've succumbed.

I held out as long as I could...but after awhile, the momentum was against me, and I just couldn't fight it anymore.

We now have an Elf on the Shelf at our house.

Damn it.

I really thought the whole idea of an "elf" watching my kids was rather creepy...and stalkerish...so, no elf in our home.

But after seeing the multitudes of cute, creative and ornery elf photos on Pinterest, I couldn't NOT be a part of it anymore....

Yes. I'm a lemming.

So, "Crocker" arrived today at our house. (Crocker is a blend of "Creeper" and "Stalker" - cute, huh? Hee.)

He left the kids a note, which says:

Greetings from the North Pole!

To begin with, my name is Crocker. And I’m an Elf. Obviously.

I’ve been sent down by the big guy himself to keep on eye on all of you….I’m sorry that I’m late, but somehow, somewhere, our Reservations Department at the North Pole had you all in Florida already. So guess where I was? Yup – on the beach. Darn my luck when I realized you weren’t in Ft. Myers – yet – and so here I am.

In the cold, blustery frozen tundra of Missouri.

Great.

By now you are aware that it is the Christmas Season. This year I shall be spending some time observing you, watching your every move, and reporting back to my master - you know him as "Santa Claus", but I shall not speak his real name here - on your progress.

Your parents speak to you of the importance of being Nice, as opposed to Naughty. They seek to impose their notions of Good and Bad upon you, and along with that their purpose is to, yes, instill fear in you.

Let us be frank. I am not a happy Elf, sent by "Santa" to provide you with amusement. The game we play - I fly back to the North Pole each night to report to tell my master if you've been Naughty or Nice, returning to perch in a different spot each morning, there to wait while the likes of you search the house for me - is a charade.

And let us drop the pretense: we both know that, despite their threats, Santa will be visiting you this year, as he has every year. He is not a monster; neither are your parents.

But a line must be drawn. Candy cane and cookie-fueled anarchy must be kept at bay; the demented ravings brought on by watching too many toy commercials must be staved. My true purpose is to ensure that all of you do not completely succumb to the madness of the holiday season.

There is no "Naughty" or "Nice", kiddos. There is only Chaos and Order. Order must and will be maintained.

And though you may now be thinking that my presence here represents an ultimately empty threat - rest assured, we have ways of ensuring your compliance.

Put in more practical terms: on Christmas morning, there may be electronics and games...or there may be socks and underwear.

Sleep well. I will be watching.

Merry Christmas!

Crocker

Anyone else do Elf on the Shelf? Anyone else think it's kinda' creepy? Or is that just me?

We'll see how this all works out...in the meantime, time to go figure out where Crocker is going to hide next.

Peace.

My Sister's Christmas Rum Cake

I found this HERE and had to share...especially since a lot of us are up to our ears with baking. Enjoy!

My Sister's Christmas Rum Cake

Every year around this time, my sister makes an attempt to create what she says is her masterpiece of culinary delight (in fact, she usually makes two or three attempts) but alas, I have yet to sample even a tiny morsel of it.

Here is the recipe she uses:

1 or 2 quarts rum
baking powder
1c. butter
1tsp. soda
1tsp. sugar
lemon juice
2 large eggs
brown sugar
1c. dried fruit
nuts

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality.

Good, isn't it?

Now go ahead.

Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.

Check the rum again. It must be just right.

To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality-- try another cup. Open second quart, if necessary.

Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat 'til high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Whatever.

Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity.

Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter which).

Sample the rum again.

Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped mutter-oops-butter and strained nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color sugar you can find. Who cares about the color of the freakin' sugar?

Wix mell.

Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour whole mess into the coven and ake.

Check the rum again, and bo to bed.

Now you know why.....

Peace.

Reindeer Games with the Girl Scouts

Tonight was our annual Girl Scout Christmas party, and all I can say is, "Thank God for Pinterest!"

Seriously.

I planned, executed and partied single-handedly with my 7 little Scouts, and pretty much every single activity was pulled from Pinterest.

We began the evening by making Advent activity bags...

Different holiday activities on strips of paper...put in bags...draw one out each day....

...followed by assembling a gift for their parents. The gift consisted of a kitchen wisk, filled with Snickers and Hershey's Kisses, with a tag that said, "I 'wisk' I could do more - but don't 'Snicker'! At least you got something! Merry 'Kiss'-mas!":




After this, we headed to the kitchen, where we made the most adorable reindeer cupcakes:

I think these are just TOO FREAKIN' CUTE!!! And SO easy!!!



Here's all the ingredients...ready for assembly!



Intently decorating her reindeer cupcake....


We also made some delicious and easy Reindeer Munch:

Three ingredients...Rice Chex, vanilla chips, and peppermint sticks...


I broke out my favorite reindeer mugs for the occasion, filling them with hot chocolate and peppermint:

All 8 of them...in order, of course!


My personal favorite mug is Blitzen. Go figure.



It was then time for Reindeer Games...our first game was the One-Armed Wrap:

How quickly (and prettily) can you wrap a gift using just one arm apiece???


We then played several rounds of Face the Cookie, using a Girl Scout cookie, of course!

Can you get a cookie from your forehead to your mouth - by not using your hands??? Quite hilarious, I promise.


We were going to play Christmas Card Cliffhanger and Bite Me, but simply ran out of time...and I was running out of energy by this point, as I was doing this all by myself. I'm kinda' a sucker for that.

It was a great evening...I really do enjoy leading my Girl Scouts, as they are an awesome bunch of girls, and they give me such joy.

And now...off to nibble some more Reindeer Munch and sip some hot cocoa. From my Blitzen mug, of course.

Peace.