Friday, April 5, 2019

My Doctor Is Gaslighting Me




Two days ago, my sinuses were SOOOO bad, that I pretty much just wanted to die.

Rather than doing that, though, I headed to the nearest Walk-In Clinic, to see if the trained professionals could fix what I couldn’t seem to fix with over-the-counter remedies and good old-fashioned whining. None of that was working.

Walking out an hour later with 20mg of Prednisone - EEP - but no antibiotics (“No infection for YOU!!”, the doctor barked!), I thought that a visit to an even MORE trained professional - as in ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) - was in order.

So, I went yesterday to see “Doctor Smith.”

Walking into the lobby of Doctor Smith and his fellow ENT’s building, I had a bit of deja vu - but couldn’t quite put my finger on why this lobby looked so familiar. I felt like I had been here before - but knowing this was my first time seeing Dr. Smith, I shrugged it off.

When Dr. Smith walked into the exam room, he’s peeking at my chart - and says, “Ahhhh...I see you that you saw “Dr. Jones” here six years ago for your sinus surgery.”

I looked at him like he was nuts, and said, “Uh...no. I had my sinus surgery in Florida.”

Dr. Smith looked at me like I was nuts, and said, “Huh. Sure. Because it says here you saw Dr. Jones.”

And I gave him the side-eye, and said, “Uh, I’m pretty sure I know where I had my surgery. And it was in Florida. Yes, I might be a bit crazy - especially on 20mg of Prednisone right now - but I KNOW where I was.”

Dr. Smith gave me one last look - to see if I really WAS crazy - and then shrugged and got down to business.

Weird.


So, after determining that I do, indeed, have an infection - and deciding to boost the Prednisone up “to a larger dose” to help with the inflammation of the sinuses, he’s having me come back next week for a cat scan - and possibly inserting tubes in my ears so I can fly. Wheeeeeee. I set my next appointment, and head out to go pick up the drugs.


Imagine my alarm when I was given this for the Prednisone:


Holy CRAZINESS, Batman - that prescription is calling for THREE pills - at 10mg apiece - THREE times a day!!! That’s 90mg of Prednisone, folks!

I am NOT a trained professional, by any means - but I DO know that the MOST Prednisone usually prescribed a day is 60mg. There is something wrong with this prescription.

I called the pharmacy back, and asked, “Um...can this be right? Don’t you think it should be ONE pill - THREE times a day?”

The pharmacist pulled the written prescription up, and said, “Well...this is how the doctor wrote it...but you’re right. That doesn’t seem correct.”

Ya’ think???!!!


So yes, the prescription is wrong. Whew. I go slightly nuts at 20mg a day - I can’t even imagine what 90mg would have done!


In the meantime, I’m lying in bed last night - dealing the side effects of insomnia - when I replay that conversation with Dr. Smith regarding Dr. Jones...and it dawns on me.

I did indeed have my sinus surgery in Florida. That is correct. BUT - I was so anxious to come home for recovery - before I was released by my Florida surgeon - that my Florida surgeon said he would only allow me to come back to Kansas City IF I had an ENT that would do my follow-up care.

And Dr. Jones was my follow-up care for the surgery.

Voila.

THAT is why I was having deja vu in that lobby. And THAT is why Dr. Jones is listed in my chart as seeing me for sinus surgery.

I wasn’t crazy. And neither was Dr. Smith.

All is well in my world.

I would say, “I can rest easy now” - but on 30mg of Prednisone now, I am not resting at all - but that’s a whole nother story!

Peace.



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Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Whiner Wednesday: April 3rd Edition



I started working out a gym about a year ago...I go five days a week, Monday through Friday, and spend 45 minutes huffing and puffing and sweating and grunting, all in an effort to fight gravity and fight aging, with every bit of effort I can give. My trainer is an ex-Marine, and he likes to pretend that we’re all brand-new recruits going through boot camp, rather than a bunch of middle-aged women who haven’t seen their twenties in...well...over twenty years.

Sometimes, when he tells us to “Drop and give him twenty” - or something along the lines of - I will protest, half-heartedly, with groans, sighs, and curse words said under my breath. He and I finally came to an arrangement where I am allowed to whine only on Wednesdays - “Whiner Wednesday” - as I call it - and it works out well. He doesn’t have to listen to me protest the other four days of the week, but I can let him have it on that one, glorious day that comes mid-week. It’s a win-win.

So, in that spirit - I’m going to do a Whiner Wednesday post today...talk about what is going on my life this past week...and perhaps groan, sigh or cuss under my breath - but also post when I think things are positive....

So, without further ado, here we go...here’s how the past week has gone:

What I’ve Been Doing

Whew. A busy week.

Hubby and I celebrated our 20th anniversary by heading to the place where it all began, the Grand Street Cafe, where we had our first date. We had a delicious dinner with a yummy appetizer of potato skins, that didn’t look like any potato skins I’VE ever had before. But they were Nom Nom Nom DELICIOUS!!


Seriously - does that even LOOK like potato skins??!! But Oh. My. God. They were sooooo good. I think I licked the plate.


That evening, Hubby presented me with 20 gorgeous coral roses - one for each year we’ve been married. Awwww. He so sweet.



Over the weekend, besides watching some of the March Madness of NCAA Tournament Basketball (and here I MUST insert, “Go War Eagle!!” Yes, my beloved Auburn Tigers have made it to the Final Four - squeeeeeee!!!), I spent some time with girlfriends. Sunday morning was brunch with unlimited mimosas at a local restaurant:


That evening, I spent some time with a good friend, Robin, who I see on a regular basis to discuss our passions: running, Disney and our family. Robin lives not too far from me, but I met her in an online Facebook group dedicated to running and Disney. It was bizarre to find out she lives within five miles - and is about my age - and so we make it a point to get together once a month and discuss our next races, or our next Disney trip - or just life. Girlfriends are the best.

Today, I had lunch with another girlfriend, who I met 15 years ago, and who I try to see as much as possible - but because of life, sickness, appointments, work, etc - I haven’t seen in six months. We were LONG overdue - so we had a lot to catch up on. Sorry, waiter - I left you a good tip since we took up the table. Hee hee.

What Book I Am Reading

The book I’m currently reading is called, “The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America”. The author is Tommy Tomlinson...and I am seriously hooked. This guy can REALLY write a sentence - and I find myself chuckling out loud as he paints pictures with his words. A good read, so far - I recommend it.



What I Am Watching

My guilty pleasure has been binging on “Santa Clarita Diet”, which can be found on Netflix. It stars Drew Barrymore and the always-gorgeous Timothy Olyphant - and is the sick-but-funny chronicles of a suburban mom who turns into a zombie. It’s hysterically funny in a sick, twisted way, and I can’t stop watching. I recommend it.



What I Am Listening To

Old school. My favorite jam lately has been rocking out to The Steve Miller Band. I saw them in concert many, many years ago, and they’ll always be a favorite. Yes - I recommend. Obviously...hee hee!



How I Am Feeling

Well...if you were wondering when the whining was going to start, HERE WE GO!! Woot woot! Are you excited??!!

First, my allergies. Or sinuses. Or whatever it is. I DON’T KNOW AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY. I. Am. Miserable. I can’t breathe. I can’t sleep. Headaches, drainage, sinus pressure - medicine, humidifiers, Kleenex - an endless carousel of dealing with some unnamed beast, and I am frankly tired. So, tomorrow I am heading to an ENT for some answers. I am hoping, praying and praying some more that I am not looking at sinus surgery FOR THE SECOND TIME. Gah.

Second, my elbow. I hurt it. It hurts. It doesn’t stop hurting. It has hurt for months. So - I broke down and saw an orthopedic doctor last week, who said, “Physical therapy for YOU!” And so that is what I’ve been doing. And that hurts. Gah. But I am hoping, praying and praying some more that it will make it better.


I thought that physical therapy for an elbow would be a piece of cake. I thought wrong. It kicks my butt every time I go in. Today, I got a nice steroid patch on my arm, so we’ll see if that brings some relief.


So - that’s my week. No more whining. Really, other than my nose and my elbow, there’s not much to whine about...and I’m hoping to get those fixed, right??!!

Here’s to another week, and here’s to doctors, medicines, drugs, and spring. Whee!


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Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Twenty Years Married



Twenty years.

Twenty-freakin’-years.

Twenty years since I said, “I do” to this man...and he said, “I do, too” to me.

Wowza.


We started dating in November...were engaged by December...and married by March. March 26, 1999.

It was a second marriage for both of us, and not wanting the big, fancy wedding (been there, done that), we both opted for something smaller - more intimate - and so we tied the knot in a small wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

I think we had both learned at this point that “marriage” isn’t about the wedding ceremony - or all of the trappings - but it’s the day—to-day...the nitty-gritty...the tiny, microscopic things that arise each day that must be dealt with.


We had six kids between us at this point, with another one on the way...and we privately vowed to each other that we would always put each other first, and NOT let the kids come between us (we’d seen the scary statistics of second marriages that end in divorce - especially those with children - gah.) We stuck to this vow, as hard as it was sometimes - keeping the parental unit strong above everything else - and it’s worked.

Twenty years.


He gets me. He makes me laugh. He spoils me. He gives me the freedom to spread my wings and soar, and he’s there when I sometimes crash and burn from trying to soar to high. He gives me the independence that I so desperately needed when I met him, and yet he is there when I need that companionship, that support, that love, that quiet voice that keeps me calm in crazy storms.


He brings me chocolate milk and cookies every night before bed. He runs my bathwater. He warms my towel in the dryer so it’s nice and toasty on a cold, winter morning. He indulges my passion for Disney and handbags. He pushes me to eat better, exercise better, just DO better, period.


Twenty years.

Happy anniversary to the love of my life, my husband.

Looks like we made it.

And here’s to twenty more, and then twenty more after that.

Peace.

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Monday, March 25, 2019

I’ve Got the Groundhog Day Blues



Do you remember that classic movie with Bill Murray, “Groundhog Day”, where he wakes up every single day, only to discover that he’s repeating the same day - over and over again?

I kinda’ feel that way - that I’m living in my own Drama Queen version of “Groundhog Day.”

Six years ago, I had sinus surgery - which was HORRENDOUS. Remember THIS post? All I remember is I felt like I had just run into a concrete wall with my FACE at 100 mph. For days. After the brutal surgery and recovery, I actually felt that the surgery was a huge success...as in, no more constant sinus infections and sinus pressure and chronic sinus pain.

Life was good, and I was SOOOOO relieved to not be living through THAT nightmare any more.

But.

I may have spoke too soon.

In the last year, I have had not one, not two, but THREE confirmed sinus infections.

THREE!!!

IN ONE YEAR!!!

Gah.

After the third infection, I wailed to the doctor, “But...but...but...!!! I CAN’T be having sinus infections! I had sinus surgery!!”

And my doctor looked at me in pity, and said very slowly, like she was speaking to a three-year old child, “Honey...sinus surgery isn’t permanent. It isn’t forever. Whatever it was that caused you to need the surgery in the first place is most likely returned.”

I looked at her in horror.

“WHAT??!!”

She said, “You’re most likely going to have to have the surgery again. It’s not that unusual.”

I seriously burst into tears at that moment. I’m not kidding. I did. I really did.

The thought of going through that torture - AGAIN - is more than I can bear...and yet...I don’t know if I can keep having sinus infections and sinus issues, especially when they crop up when I’m supposed to be getting onto a plane, and God knows you can’t fly with a sinus infection, so now I have to either cancel a trip, or drive, which sucks - and so on, and so on.

Last week, I flew back from Florida.

And then promptly was felled with a sinus infection.

WHY IS THIS MY LIFE??!!

Sigh.

So...I now have to seriously ponder the benefits (and negatives) of sinus surgery - AGAIN.

The positive: it definitely helped me breathe much easier the last few years...and no sinus headaches or pain. No earaches. Flying was amazing. I could sleep through the night without waking up, feeling like I was suffocating.

But the negatives? Intense, intense pain for about a month. And loss of taste buds. I lost most of my taste & smell after the first surgery - about 100% right after the surgery, but about 25% of that has returned. I don’t smell things - or taste food - like I used to. My palate is a joke. Cinnamon? Can’t smell it. Flowers? Can’t smell them. Skunk? Can’t smell it. Farts? Fart away - I can’t smell them. (See - I always try to find the bright side.)

What if I have the surgery - again - and lose permanently the 25% I still have?

It’s not any fun when most food & drink tastes like cardboard. Or you can’t smell a newborn baby. (Weird. I know. But it’s a mom thing.)

What do I do??!! What do I do??!!

Sigh.

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Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Goodbye, Florida


Today, my three-week retreat in southwest Florida is coming to an end....

I leave with mixed feelings...on one hand, I am sad to leave. I love my house here in Fort Myers. I love the layout; I love the view out my back window; and I love, love, love the feeling I have while I’m here...a feeling of zen and peaceful serenity that is hard to say goodbye to.

On the other hand, I’ve been alone (for the most part) - and I miss my family back home in Kansas City. I miss my hubby; I miss my kids; and I especially miss my kitty cats, as much as they drive me crazy sometimes.

My life in each of these two houses is as different as it can be...my life in Florida: quiet. Not busy. Peaceful. My life in Kansas City: busy. Busy. Busy. Errands. Chores. Appointments.

In some ways, my life reflects the Zodiac sign that I was born under: Gemini. Sign of the twins. Dual existence. And in my case, so, so true - two separate lives, with different agendas, different friends, different everything....

I’m fortunate that I can balance these two sides of my life, and I’m not complaining...just reflecting.

So...goodbye, SWFL...and hello, KCMO.

I’ll be back.

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