Monday, March 25, 2019

I’ve Got the Groundhog Day Blues



Do you remember that classic movie with Bill Murray, “Groundhog Day”, where he wakes up every single day, only to discover that he’s repeating the same day - over and over again?

I kinda’ feel that way - that I’m living in my own Drama Queen version of “Groundhog Day.”

Six years ago, I had sinus surgery - which was HORRENDOUS. Remember THIS post? All I remember is I felt like I had just run into a concrete wall with my FACE at 100 mph. For days. After the brutal surgery and recovery, I actually felt that the surgery was a huge success...as in, no more constant sinus infections and sinus pressure and chronic sinus pain.

Life was good, and I was SOOOOO relieved to not be living through THAT nightmare any more.

But.

I may have spoke too soon.

In the last year, I have had not one, not two, but THREE confirmed sinus infections.

THREE!!!

IN ONE YEAR!!!

Gah.

After the third infection, I wailed to the doctor, “But...but...but...!!! I CAN’T be having sinus infections! I had sinus surgery!!”

And my doctor looked at me in pity, and said very slowly, like she was speaking to a three-year old child, “Honey...sinus surgery isn’t permanent. It isn’t forever. Whatever it was that caused you to need the surgery in the first place is most likely returned.”

I looked at her in horror.

“WHAT??!!”

She said, “You’re most likely going to have to have the surgery again. It’s not that unusual.”

I seriously burst into tears at that moment. I’m not kidding. I did. I really did.

The thought of going through that torture - AGAIN - is more than I can bear...and yet...I don’t know if I can keep having sinus infections and sinus issues, especially when they crop up when I’m supposed to be getting onto a plane, and God knows you can’t fly with a sinus infection, so now I have to either cancel a trip, or drive, which sucks - and so on, and so on.

Last week, I flew back from Florida.

And then promptly was felled with a sinus infection.

WHY IS THIS MY LIFE??!!

Sigh.

So...I now have to seriously ponder the benefits (and negatives) of sinus surgery - AGAIN.

The positive: it definitely helped me breathe much easier the last few years...and no sinus headaches or pain. No earaches. Flying was amazing. I could sleep through the night without waking up, feeling like I was suffocating.

But the negatives? Intense, intense pain for about a month. And loss of taste buds. I lost most of my taste & smell after the first surgery - about 100% right after the surgery, but about 25% of that has returned. I don’t smell things - or taste food - like I used to. My palate is a joke. Cinnamon? Can’t smell it. Flowers? Can’t smell them. Skunk? Can’t smell it. Farts? Fart away - I can’t smell them. (See - I always try to find the bright side.)

What if I have the surgery - again - and lose permanently the 25% I still have?

It’s not any fun when most food & drink tastes like cardboard. Or you can’t smell a newborn baby. (Weird. I know. But it’s a mom thing.)

What do I do??!! What do I do??!!

Sigh.

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