Sunday, November 18, 2012

Christmas Tree Catnip


Bad juju will follow anyone if they dare mess with the Thanksgiving gods....

Trust me.

I know from experience.

For the first time, like, EVER, I attempted to get a "jump" on the holidays by sneakily putting up my Christmas tree this weekend.

I's not even Thanksgiving yet, but hey - I'm crazy busy, and I may not even BE here next weekend to put up the tree - so I justified it in my head and drug out the tree and the decorations and had Hubby set to work.

Don't judge me.

The first hint of bad juju began after Hubby assembled the tree...I was standing next to it, puzzling over the fact that it looked...short. REALLY short.

"Something's wrong," I began....and Hubby, always a bit defensive with his Christmas-tree assembling skills, immediately tried to cut me off in whatever criticism I was about to lay on him.

"WHAT??!" he said...."There's NOTHING wrong! It's perfect!"

"It just seems...short," I continued. "Normally, I need a stepladder to reach the top - and yet...this year, the tree is rather...stumpy."

That's when Hubby realized he had totally forgotten the bottom section of the tree. Chagrined, he went off in search of the missing piece, and didn't we have fun trying to get all the pieces reconnected afterwards. Not.

After all the pieces were assembled, the second bit of bad juju hit...when Hubby plugged in the various cords, and we were greeted by the grand and glorious sight of...darkness.

Apparently, our pre-lit tree decided to be temperamental, and about half the lights stubbornly refused to turn on. We were faced with a blackout covering the square footage of approximately New York City, and now had the daunting task of trying to figure out how to turn the freakin' lights on.


While we were both engrossed in the task of checking Every. Single. Light. Bulb. on the tree, our 8-month old kitten/cat came sauntering up from the basement to see what trouble he could get into we were doing....

Anyone wanting a cat? This one's looking for a good home...

He took one look at the assembled Christmas tree, and with a yelp of delight that sounded suspiciously like, "COWABUNGA, DUDE!!!", he launched himself into the mass of pine needles and light cords.

He was in a Disney World of Cat Heaven, slithering and jumping from branch to branch, while Hubby and I were screaming and yelling, "GET OUT OF THERE, YOU LITTLE SH*T!!!", all the while trying to grab him whenever a glimpse of grey fur came near.

Strangely enough, at some point, all his wiggling and wriggling and slithering jiggled just enough light cords that miraculously, caused half of the darkened lights to suddenly begin blazing in their full glory...which, although somewhat tempered Hubby and I from chasing him, by no means lessened the danger that this cat was creating in his frenzied joy of exploring the tree. He still needed to get out before he toppled the tree, or electrocuted himself, whichever disaster decided to come first. I was voting for electrocution at this point, as that would save me the trouble of killing him myself.

About the time we finally managed to get the mangy furball out of the tree, the cat decided that my carefully arranged piles of decorations on the floor were the indoor equivalent of piles of leaves, and he then launched himself from pile to pile, delighting in the mess he was leaving behind.


Hubby eventually caught the cat, and carrying him by the scruff of his neck, he was banished to the basement, with a decidedly dejected look of, "What? Me? What did I do now???"


Two hours and two trips to the store later to buy supplemental lights, the tree was finally ready for decorating...which didn't happen until today. entire weekend wasted dedicated to decorating the tree, just so I could get a "jump" on Christmas.

Take it from NOT put up a Christmas tree before Thanksgiving.

The Thanksgiving gods don't like it.

Bad juju, I'm tellin' you.



Image from HERE

1 comment:

Mental P Mama said...

But it looks so pretty!! Will you come set up mine?