I Swallowed the Bacon

There's never been a time - in all of my 50 years - that I haven't had a dog in my life. And we all know that dogs - at some point in their lives - have to take a pill...or two. And most are resistant to this. So, dog owners are very, very creative - hiding the nasty pill in a big piece of bologna or bacon or cheese, and the silly dog happily gulps down the pill, not ever being the wiser that he just got tricked into taking the nasty pill....

...or was he?

Wednesday was the day of my sinus surgery, and while checking in at the surgicenter, I had casually mentioned to the anesthesiologist my fear of "going under" - which is a common fear, I would think. The anesthesiologist immediately took on the guise of a psychoanalyst, peppering me with questions as to why I wouldn't like "going under" - and doing what he could to alleviate my fears. In the meantime, nurses are all around me, wrapping bracelets around my wrists, administering the IV's, the blood pressure cuff, etc...lots of stuff happening at a very fast pace in that pre-op room.

As the IV was being administered, I asked the anesthesiologist if he'd put something in it already - and he quickly replied, "What? Me? No...not yet. Just saline for now. I won't give you anything until we're in the operating room."

I took him at his word until my brain began feeling a bit loopy, and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and asked again, "Are you SURE you didn't put something in this already???"

"Now, why would I do that? I need you awake until we get to the OR," he patiently replied.

A minute later, they were wheeling me into the operating room, where they then instructed me to slide from the one bed to the surgery bed. Shouldn't be a problem, right?

Well...I remember beginning my slide over...and that's it.

The next thing I know, I was waking up in the recovery room and the surgery was over.

To this day, I'm not sure if I ever made it completely over to the other bed before passing out...for all I know, they had to do the surgery with me passed out between two beds.

Serves them right if that's what happened.

Afterwards, I felt like the dog...being tricked into taking the dreaded medicine.

Anyway...surgery is over. Recovery has begun. It will be slow...it has been painful...and there are consequences that I hope are temporary (such as completely losing my sense of smell and taste).

At this point, I would happily gulp down a pill-infested piece of bacon - if I could only taste it.

Peace.

Top Chef: The Cruise

Unbelievable.

Amazing.

Unforgettable.

Those three words pretty much describe the incredible long weekend that Hubby and I just experienced...as we cruised in the Caribbean with some famous chefs and TV personalities from "Top Chef."

I'll soon be writing a full-length review of the cruise (which will be posted on CruiseCritic.com, where all of my previous reviews have been posted)...but in the meantime, I thought I'd hit a few highlights....


Hubby and I...on formal night...



First off, the food. OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod. The food. Every night, the dinner menu would feature three different chefs - and of course, not wanting to miss a thing, Hubby and I ordered EVERYTHING. And it was incredible...delicious...mouth-watering...and to die for. I sampled items I've never heard of - nor will likely ever hear again - and it stretched my palate in ways unimaginable. The offerings truly lived up to the anticipation of cruising with some of America's best chefs....

Second, the chefs themselves...they were SO friendly, and SO approachable, and SO appreciative of the fans. They took pictures, they autographed cookbooks, they partied right along beside us during the events...and it was too much freakin' fun. World-Famous French Chef Hubert Keller put on an amazing show one night, spinning records as a DJ...and the look of pure joy on his face was incredible. A lot of people can say they've eaten Hubert Keller's amazing food...but how many can say they've danced to his tunes??!!


Getting ready to embark on a trip of a lifetime!



Third, the other cruisers...we met so many people onboard, whether at dinner, at the Martini bar, or in port...and being that we ALL had at least one thing in common - our shared love of food and "Top Chef" - it gave us something to talk about and argue about (in a friendly way, of course!) and rave about. Certainly the most homogenous group of travelers I've ever explored with, and again, it was too much fun.

And finally - the BIGGEST highlight for me was getting checked out by the "Italian Stallion" himself, the famous Fabio. If you don't know who Fabio is, I'll be brief and say that he is the darling of the show - with his charm, good looks, and genuine passion for cooking - as well as the ladies. While walking one night to dinner, I passed Fabio, who was walking in the opposite direction.


Chef Fabio Viviani...yummy...



Fabio's eyes swept down my dress...then back up my dress...and he then looked me in the eye, gave me a slow smile, and a nod. Outwardly, I was calm and cool and collected, giving him a smile and a nod in return...while inside I was screaming, "OH MY GOD, FABIO JUST CHECKED ME OUT!!!!"


This will forever now be known as my "Fabio" dress....!


After a few steps, I turned around to see if Hubby (who had been behind me) had just seen what transpired, and before I said a word, Hubby said, "I saw that...he just totally checked you out."

Hey...I'm 50 years old...the days of me getting "checked out" are few and far between anymore. Pretty much non-existant, unless you count getting my books checked out at the library...which is HARDLY the same thing. Hee.

So...all in all...a WONDERFUL experience.

Be looking for my upcoming review...but I don't when I'll be starting it, as I go "under the knife" tomorrow for my sinus surgery. Which I'm actually looking forward to, in a weird way, as it means I'm just THAT much closer to FINALLY getting to go home to Kansas City, after a VERY long absence.

Peace.

If you want to read a review of our European cruise last summer, click HERE.

A review of our Mother/Daughter review last summer in the Caribbean, click HERE.

And finally, for a review of the World's Largest Cruise Ship, in which I cruised solo, click HERE.

Pack Your Knives - I Mean, Clothes - and Go! (on a cruise)

It's no secret that Hubby and I are all about the food...

Whether it's experimenting in the kitchen ourselves, or choosing restaurants for their cutting edge menus, or devouring every food-related show on television, we both definitely love our gastronomical delights.

One of our most favorite shows over the last seven years has been "Top Chef" - a cooking competition show on Bravo Network that pits a different group of aspiring chefs each season in various challenges. It's always been our "must-see" TV on Wednesday nights, and besides giving us some "food for thought" in the kitchen, it's led to some interesting debates between us as we argue on whether the "right" chef had been sent home packing each week. We always like what the judges say when they send a poor chef home: "Chef...pack your knives and go" (PYKAG) - although we know that's the kiss of DEATH when a poor chef hears those words.



The newest season of Top Chef began airing last September, and one night, a commercial hit the screen - advertising a chartered "Top Chef" cruise. Wait, what? A cruise? That alone got my attention, but when it was shown that the cruise would feature fan-favorite chefs over the years from the reality series? Well. It sounded perfect.

The only problem to this is that we had enjoyed not one, but TWO cruises last summer...and I knew Hubby would never be "onboard" with the thought of another cruise. Imagine my shock one night, while watching the commercial, Hubby looks over at me and says, "You DO have us booked on that cruise, right??"

Um, no. But two seconds later, we were booked. You don't have to nudge me twice.

So. The cruise begins tomorrow. It's FINALLY here.

To say I'm bouncing with excitement is an understatement - as I'm practically GIDDY.

We're packed; we're ready to go. In another hour, we'll hop in the car and drive over to Miami, where we'll spend the night and get ready to embark tomorrow on a culinary cruise like no other.

There will be pictures. There will be a review. There will be new adventures - new friends - and new culinary creations to sample. There will be opportunities galore for me to creep/stalk on my favorite chefs over the years - getting photos, autographs, and cooking tips from.



Bon voyage, peeps - I'll catch up with you all next week...a few pounds heavier, I'm sure, but oh-so-happy.

Peace.

The Scritcher Striketh

Sadistic? Or indulgent?

You decide.

I have been away from my Kansas City home for almost two months now...my "exile" has been tough, but I've managed to communicate with Hubby and the kids back home using all means of technology available to us - iPhones, Facebook, and emails....As frustrating as my absence has been, my family understand not only why it's happening, but also it's temporary-ness. I know. That's not a word. But you know what I mean. They know this won't last forever - and that soon, after my upcoming surgery, I'll be back in KC.

However...my "furry" children don't understand this. I have four furry children back home - three cats, and a dog. Hubby and I have very clear-cut responsibilities when it comes to the furry children...he is "The Feeder" and I am "The Scritcher." The animals have probably realized that although they are continuing to get their daily Kibble from "The Feeder" - their belly rubs and ear scritches have all but disappeared, with my absence. I can't exactly send them a text or an email explaining why "The Scritcher" has dropped off the face of the Earth - albeit temporary - and that frustrates me.

So, tonight...we did an experiment. While Hubby and I were talking on our iPhones, we activated "Facetime" - which is really just "Skype" for an iPhone. Hubby then put the camera on Cocoa, my little Shih Tzu, so that I could see my fur baby. Well. After not seeing my fur baby for almost two months, you can imagine how NUTSO I went on the phone....I went into full-blown baby-talk mode, which is how I talk to my fur babies (and doesn't everyone??), and of course, this drives Cocoa...CRAZY.

Poor Cocoa. She can hear The Scritcher's voice - but she can't see me. She's frantically looking everywhere in the room, and I can hear her whining, as she's trying to get a visual, and I'm not there....She went NUTS. It was almost laughable, to see her so determined to find me in that room...but it was almost sad. Poor baby.

Was I sadistic? Or was it indulgent?

So...isn't this rather pathetic? On a beautiful Friday night in Florida, I am conversing in baby-talk over a phone with my fur babies, who are a thousand miles away from me...and it's the highlight of my evening.

For what it's worth, we did this with the cats, as well...but really...my cats can ignore me when I'm practically standing on top of them and pulling their whiskers out hair by hair (not that I would ever do that), so ignoring me while I'm blabbering on an iPhone was nothing for them. All they need - or want - is their Kibble.

Sigh.

An Unexpected Gift

*

I was SO close…

Five more minutes, and I would have been OUT the door…to freedoms unlimited – perhaps the beach, or the pool, happily engrossed with my Kindle and a delicious good book for the day - with the sky my only limit and an umbrella drink my only companion.

But I ruined it all with one – wait…okay, two – innocuous questions.

It began innocently enough – Sunday morning, I met my parents at church, and afterwards, headed over to their condo for a delicious Easter brunch. My folks JUST closed on this condo last week, and to say that it needs some cosmetic updating would be a HUGE understatement. Honestly, it needs a wrecking ball – knock down the walls, gut it, and just start all over…but my parents are determined to do this themselves with the enthusiasm of a 16-year old boy with his first car.

After Easter supper, my Dad wanted to begin installing the new Pergo laminate flooring in the two bedrooms of the condo…as I was grabbing my keys to head back to my OWN house, I asked the first of the two questions:

“So, Dad, have you ever installed laminate flooring before?”

“Nope.”

Oh…okay. So, I followed up that first question with this second one, which turned out to be a HUGE mistake on my part:

“So…do you know HOW to install it?”

“Nope.”

CRAP.

Okay…I am not a ‘toolsy’ girl, by any means…DIY, to me, means “Dial It Yourself” – looking through the Yellow Pages to find someone who can do it FOR me.

However…I do have to say that my various mission-trip experiences have taught me several things…I’ve learned how to plant bamboo in a jungle, take a patient’s blood pressure, build cinder block walls, hang sheetrock, and paint walls like a professional. I’ve also spent five days installing laminate flooring on a mission trip to Galveston – which doesn’t qualify me as an expert, but it DOES make me more than adequate.

Sighing, I set my keys down and picked up a saw…and hence began a three-day project, working side-by-side with my dad…installing beautiful wooden laminate in the two bedrooms of their condo.

I am sore in places that I didn’t know even EXISTED on my body…I am exhausted…and I am dusty. Very, very dusty…

…but the project is now complete, and I’ve got to say…I will probably look back on these past three days, spent working beside my 71-year old father, as some of the best days of my life.

An unexpected Easter gift that I will cherish forever.




Peace.

*Image from HERE