Saturday, April 20, 2013

I Swallowed the Bacon

There's never been a time - in all of my 50 years - that I haven't had a dog in my life. And we all know that dogs - at some point in their lives - have to take a pill...or two. And most are resistant to this. So, dog owners are very, very creative - hiding the nasty pill in a big piece of bologna or bacon or cheese, and the silly dog happily gulps down the pill, not ever being the wiser that he just got tricked into taking the nasty pill....

...or was he?

Wednesday was the day of my sinus surgery, and while checking in at the surgicenter, I had casually mentioned to the anesthesiologist my fear of "going under" - which is a common fear, I would think. The anesthesiologist immediately took on the guise of a psychoanalyst, peppering me with questions as to why I wouldn't like "going under" - and doing what he could to alleviate my fears. In the meantime, nurses are all around me, wrapping bracelets around my wrists, administering the IV's, the blood pressure cuff, etc...lots of stuff happening at a very fast pace in that pre-op room.

As the IV was being administered, I asked the anesthesiologist if he'd put something in it already - and he quickly replied, "What? Me? No...not yet. Just saline for now. I won't give you anything until we're in the operating room."

I took him at his word until my brain began feeling a bit loopy, and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and asked again, "Are you SURE you didn't put something in this already???"

"Now, why would I do that? I need you awake until we get to the OR," he patiently replied.

A minute later, they were wheeling me into the operating room, where they then instructed me to slide from the one bed to the surgery bed. Shouldn't be a problem, right?

Well...I remember beginning my slide over...and that's it.

The next thing I know, I was waking up in the recovery room and the surgery was over.

To this day, I'm not sure if I ever made it completely over to the other bed before passing out...for all I know, they had to do the surgery with me passed out between two beds.

Serves them right if that's what happened.

Afterwards, I felt like the dog...being tricked into taking the dreaded medicine. is over. Recovery has begun. It will be has been painful...and there are consequences that I hope are temporary (such as completely losing my sense of smell and taste).

At this point, I would happily gulp down a pill-infested piece of bacon - if I could only taste it.



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