The One In Which I Die From Too Much Sugar

I blame the sugar.

Yes, it’s all the sugar’s fault that I’ve been in absentia from my blog the past week.

Oh, it began innocently enough, when Hubby and I attended a friend’s Open House last weekend….Upon arrival, we were greeted by a beautiful and plentiful bounty of delicious food – including pulled pork, brisket, cheese and sausage, savory dips, and other nosh-worthy delights.

I put together a beautiful plate of nibbles that would do a Food Network critic proud, and was about to join the other guests out on the porch – when suddenly – I stopped in my tracks. There, sitting on a tray, scattered amongst the other dessert offerings, were some little puffs of heaven.

Cream Puffs.




O. M. G.

I have to insert a backstory here – as you will never understand my love for Cream Puffs (and yes, they DO deserve capitalization, because, they’re totally so amazing), without first hearing about my dear, departed Grandma.

Grandma was a baker. Not an amateur baker – but a PROFESSIONAL baker…as in, she actually worked at a bakery and made real money for her incredible creations. My earliest memories of my Grandma are of me, standing on a stool by her counter, watching her roll out homemade pie dough, or scooping out balls of cookie dough, or dropping giant biscuits on a cookie sheet.

Yum.

As wonderful and delectable as all those were, her BEST creations were her Cream Puffs. Unfortunately, she would ONLY whip these up once a year – in honor of my dad’s birthday – so after wolfing down my allotted limit of two Cream Puffs – I’d have to wait an agonizing 364 days before savoring them again.

Gah.

As Grandma got older, she eventually quit making her Cream Puffs, and life, as I knew it, was never the same again. Since then, I’ve been on a quest to find the perfect Cream Puffs – that taste like Grandma’s – to no avail.

So, I had to – HAD TO, I tell you – sample these. I tried one – and it was definitely delicious. Not quite sure if it was as good as Grandma’s, I had to – HAD TO, I tell you – sample another one. Yes, definitely delicious. But not Grandma’s.

Sigh.

After spending a delightful time at the Open House, Hubby and I then whizzed across town to attend my niece’s Sweet Sixteen Party. I was a bit uncomfortable, after nibbling and noshing and devouring pork, brisket, and Cream Puffs – and there might have been some other things, as well.

Entering the party, which was in full swing by the time we arrived, I stood there in a state of shock.

My initial thought was that I had accidentally stumbled onto the set of “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” – as I had never seen so much SUGAR in one place in my entire life.

Seriously. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR long tables, piled high with every imaginable sort of “sweet” there ever was. Cookies and cakes and cupcakes and cheesecakes and cake pops and pies…and in the center, a fountain of chocolate, gurgling and oozing a cascade of sweet deliciousness.

HOLY WILLIE WONKA, BATMAN.

I’d found the Garden of Eden.

Who knew that's what the "Sweet" in "Sweet Sixteen" refers to??!!

I half-expected to see some Oompa Loompa's come around the corner, singing one of their creepy songs.



Shoving aside numerous small children who were literally bouncing off the walls induced from their own sugar comas, as well as disregarding my own discomfort of being rather full, I dove into those tables of goodness…immediately picking up a skewer, stabbing an innocent marshmallow, and plunging it into the cascading chocolate.



O.M.G.

Chocolate-covered marshmallows are delicious anyway, but EVERYTHING tastes better when eaten off a stick. Trust me.

And if not one, not two, not three, but FOUR tables of sugar weren't enough – I eventually discovered a table covered with CANDY.

Whoa.

I don’t remember much about that evening. I DO know that I when I woke up on Sunday morning, I pretty much felt like I had a hangover. No joke. A sugar-induced hangover that’s lasted pretty much all week.


Yup. That's me.


Was it worth it?

Yes.

Yes, it was.