The Fields of Heaven

A cold, blustery day in December of 1972 changed my Labor Day weekends forever....

It was December 28, 1972, to be exact. How do I remember that? Because it was the day of President Harry S Truman's funeral...and that was what I was watching on T.V. when my 10-year old view of the world changed. Do you ever have those moments in life - that you know EXACTLY where you were, what you were doing - when you got bad news?

My mom had a best friend, named Janice. I've blogged about Janice before...she was a red-headed firecracker that always scared the beejeezus out of me as a child. Janice had two kids, Jennifer and Tad, who we spent many days, nights and weekends with - playing tag, hide 'n seek, teasing, poking, annoying - the normal things that children do with each other.

On that day - December 28th - Janice showed up at our door, hysterical. Distraught. Devastated. Her world had changed forever that day, as she had just received the horrible news that her 3-year old son, Tad, had been diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy.

We had noticed that Tad was running funny lately in our games...he would stumble, fall...for no apparent reason...and he couldn't keep up with all of us. We'd laugh, and we'd tease him...never knowing that it wasn't his fault. Kids can be cruel sometimes.

I remember Janice and my mom, both sobbing in each other's arms, wondering what this meant for the future...and I remember being worried, as a 10-year old child would be, as how this affected me....

Would Tad look different next time I saw him? What WAS this disease I was hearing for the first time - muscular dystrophy? Was it contagious? Was it fatal?

I learned a lot about MD as the years progressed...and after that moment, our family would spend every Labor Day volunteering at our local Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Association Telethon. The MDA Telethon has been in existence since 1966 - and to date, has raised billions of dollars for MDA research and treatment.

As a family, we'd show up to man the telephones, or run errands, or count pledge money - whatever was needed. It was always a challenge - especially as a kid - to stay up for 21 hours straight...but somehow, with adrenaline, excitement, or just knowing we were doing something good - I'd manage to keep my sleepy eyelids from closing.

It really was my first taste of volunteer work, and it felt good. Every year, I would think, "THIS is the year we finally find the cure... when MD is gone forever..." Such high hopes...praying for a cure as I watched Tad, over the years, get weaker and weaker and move from crutches, then to a wheelchair, and then finally - a hospital bed. He never got out of that hospital bed.

We lost Tad when he was only 19 years old - which is considered a LONG life for someone with Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy. But such a short life for family and friends. Too short.

I got older...went off to college...had a family and kids...and unfortunately, became too busy with life to volunteer anymore at the Telethon.

But each Labor Day, wherever I'm at - or whatever I'm doing - I think of Tad...hoping he's running fast and furious through the fields of Heaven.

Peace.

In A Dark Place...

Pain. Disillusionment.

What do you do, when someone you trusted - someone you looked up to very much - hurts you....?

When this someone is someone in a position of power...and leadership...someone whom you looked to for answers, for guidance, for truth...

...it hurts even more....

...and when this person represents an organization that you have all of your faith in...all of your beliefs in...

...it not only hurts, but causes you to question those very beliefs...and that faith...

...is it real? Or has every thing I believed in been an illusion? Smoke? It is just a man behind the curtain?

...are the words coming from this person real? Or just...words with no substance....?

And how do you move on? I have heard of forgiveness...but in all reality, it is sometimes very, very difficult to practice it...for me, anyway...If I do forgive, can I still feel the pain? Or does true forgiveness come only when the pain disappears? Do I need to let go of the pain and the hurt to truly forgive?

I don't have the answers...I know in my heart that I need to let it go...to move on...

...but it hurts. It really does. It makes me cry. A lot. Tears...many tears...and a pain in my chest that won't go away.

Pain.

And a burning desire for peace that won't come....

Ramblings....Including Talking with Lizards

What a busy week I've been having here in the Ft Myers house...

...it's been extremely quiet. No TV. No pets. No kids. No Hubs. Thank God for the stereo that's wired through the house, so I can pull in some good radio tunes. I can't stand silence. Even when I sleep. I have to have noise....

...it's been very sucky that I cannot swim while I'm here. That was the result of the surgeries, incisions, and poor timing on my part. Although they do weekly tests on the bacteria level in the ocean, I can't take a chance of infection, especially since I'm not on any antibiotics at the moment. Due to my allergic reaction to them last week. So - no risks. I'm not even swimming in the pool in the back yard - altho I did stick my feet in today. It really sucks to be in Florida for a week and to not be able to swim. What's with that??!!

...you know you're missing the family when you start conversing with the lizards in your pool cage. I will know that I have seriously lost it if I start calling the lizards by my children's names. Send a butterfly net and the straight jacket if that happens. If the lizards start answering me back, then I will know that I have gone off the deep end.

...just got an email from our local newspaper that a short blurb I wrote about bad vacations may be in the Kansas City Star on Saturday...if its online, I'll link to it. They asked for reader's contributions on their worst vacation - and I submitted a story about a trip to Chicago that my sister and I made a few years back. I should write the expanded version one of these days for the blog. It was the trip. from. hell.

..I am very proud that I managed to fix some loose wiring today on our automatic garage door opener...all by myself. I am not normally a "handyman" - that's what Hubs is for - but when Hubs is 1400 miles away, then one must resort to learning to do things on one's own. My years of mission trips have paid off - I have all sorts of handyman skills now. Who'da' thunk it?

Have a fabulous rest of your day! I'm off to enjoy some fabulous bread pudding...and tuck the lizards in for the night.

Peace.

The Gainesville Curse

If I never have to drive on I-75 South ever again, it wouldn't be too soon.

That is one LONG stretch of highway.

I left Chattanooga yesterday morning at 7:30 a.m. Within 5 minutes, I was on I-75 South. Little did I realize it would be 700 miles before I got OFF of I-75 South.

ALLLLLL the way through Georgia.

Almost ALLLLLL the way through Florida.

Atlanta was interesting. It was 9:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning when I hit it. And I-75 South was PACKED with cars, all driving - at a MINIMUM - of 80 m.p.h. I figured they must all be hurrying to get to church, because where else would they be going in such a hurry on a Sunday morning??!! Yikes.

Then, down through Macon, and on through Valdosta. Which I had never heard of before. Huh. The things you learn on a road trip. I kept wanting to call it Vidalia. As in Onion. Because I love fried Vidalia onions. And I was hungry.

I then hit Florida...which didn't excite me until I saw my first palm tree. That perked me up a bit. I was happy for awhile.

Until I hit Gainesville.

Ugh.

You see, I have "fond" memories of Gainesville...and I use that term "fond" very loosely.

Back in 2006, Hurricane Ernesto was in the Atlantic Ocean, chugging towards Florida. The American Red Cross kindly asked if I would drive the "ERV" (Emergency Response Vehicle) down to Florida to stage before the hurricane hit.

"Sure", I said.

My partner and I had been driving for two days - when the disaster hit. No, not Hurricane Ernesto. A different disaster. Of the man-made kind. A large, loose, deadly piece of tire tread - laying horizontally across the highway, outside of Gainesville - and no way to avoid it. That thing was 5' long. Going 80 m.p.h. in rush hour traffic - if we had swerved to avoid it, we would have tipped the truck. (The truck was loaded with tons of supplies.)

We crossed our fingers, said a prayer, and drove over it.

Big mistake. Unfortunately, karma and God was not on our side that afternoon, as we found out.

The tire tread ricocheted up into our chassis, knocking out a bunch of wiring - and our cooling system. Yowza.

To make a LONG story short, I spent a very long week in Gainesville, waiting for the magical, elusive "parts" to arrive in Gainesville, as well. These elusive parts were needed to fix the truck, and I was going nowhere without them. ARGH.

I spent a week at a small motel...swimming...walking across the road to a local mall, which to our delight, had a cinema...reading... shopping...sleeping...and cursing. Cursing our dreaded luck. Cursing Ford for not having the parts in stock. ARGH.

By the time our truck was fixed, Hurricane Ernesto had barely bounced off of Florida and was history. So, we began the long trek back to Kansas City.

So, yesterday, I was rehashing all of these memories of Gainesville, as I was driving down I-75 South, when the unthinkable happened.

I kid thee not.

A tire tread. Laying dead center in the highway. Outside of Gainesville. What were the odds??!!?

This time, though, I wasn't driving a huge, loaded truck. I was driving a little Mazda. With GREAT steering.

And I quickly dodged around that tire tread. And laughed.

"Ha, ha, Gainesville! Not THIS time! Pick on another sucker!!!"

And I sped on down the road to Ft. Myers, and waved goodbye to Gainesville.

Peace.

Eastbound & Down!

Eastbound and down...loaded up and truckin'....I'm gonna do what they say can't be done!

Yes - I'm on a road trip - heading east...but first...

Yesterday was "Part 2" of the surgeries...

If you recall, I had a Mohs procedure on my neck about a week ago...so I have this kickass scar on my neck that looks like Dracula - or the Wolfman - got ahold of me on a dark, spooky night. Pretty gnarly....but it makes for a great story.

I had the left hip done yesterday.

To my surprise, it was just as bad as the neck. I really didn't think it would be, for some reason...but it was. What made it even worse was the anesthetic - once again - didn't work, and when the doctor went to cauterize the wound, I felt it. OMG, that hurt. I now have what looks like a "shark bite" on my hip - which will be my story for that wound. "Surgery" just sounds so boring, right? Vampire bites and shark bites are much more fun.

After a somewhat rough night - pain, dropping blood pressure, fainting spells - I woke up this morning to embark on my Epic Road Trip.

I'm driving - solo - 1400 miles from Kansas City to Ft Myers, Florida. In my little Mazda Speed 6 that is loaded to the rafters with stuff to take to Florida. I know - somewhat stupid the day after a surgery - but I vowed to take it easy and to be careful. Besides, I've got the medicinal powers of a constant supply of Diet Dr. Pepper and Peanut Butter M&M's to assist me on this trip. And an endless supply of Tylenol.

I got a somewhat late start - but once on the road, its been awesome. The weather has been great; the traffic was great; and it was nice to enjoy peace and quiet. If I wanted "noise", I have Satellite Radio - so I can pull in my favorite tunes - and I have also been listening to an audio book, "Dead Silence", by Randy Wayne White. That's significant, because author Mr. White is from the Ft. Myers area and writes a lot of pretty cool adventure books.



My journey took me across Missouri, around St. Louis, and then into Illinois. In Illinois, I took a quick 3-minute detour to visit Metropolis. Does that sound familiar? It should - it's the boyhood home of Superman!



And you can't be the boyhood home of Superman without having a 25-foot statue of Superman in the town square!



I feel like Superman when I drink Diet Dr. Pepper and nibble on Peanut Butter M&M's on a Road Trip.

Oops...I digress...so, Illinois took me across the Ohio River, and down through Paducah, Kentucky...a short jog through Kentucky, and I was in Tennessee.

Tennessee is an awesome state - their roads are always in immaculate condition, and they have some of the neatest things to see and do. We took a 2-week vacation to Tennessee back in 2004, and visited all four corners - and had a great time. And no, I'm not getting paid by the Tourism Board to say these things - but maybe they should call me??!!

I've bunkered down for the night in Chattanooga, and I'm smack in the middle of the mountains - they were SOOOO pretty! I've vowed to come back here in the fall - I bet they're glorious in their autumn splendor!

Tomorrow, another 700 miles and I will arrive at the house in Ft Myers! Woot!

I'm trying to go to sleep about now, but I'm having a hard time...think it has something to do with caffeine and sugar???!!

Have a GREAT evening!

'v