What do you do, when someone you trusted - someone you looked up to very much - hurts you....?
When this someone is someone in a position of power...and leadership...someone whom you looked to for answers, for guidance, for truth...
...it hurts even more....
...and when this person represents an organization that you have all of your faith in...all of your beliefs in...
...it not only hurts, but causes you to question those very beliefs...and that faith...
...is it real? Or has every thing I believed in been an illusion? Smoke? It is just a man behind the curtain?
...are the words coming from this person real? Or just...words with no substance....?
And how do you move on? I have heard of forgiveness...but in all reality, it is sometimes very, very difficult to practice it...for me, anyway...If I do forgive, can I still feel the pain? Or does true forgiveness come only when the pain disappears? Do I need to let go of the pain and the hurt to truly forgive?
I don't have the answers...I know in my heart that I need to let it go...to move on...
...but it hurts. It really does. It makes me cry. A lot. Tears...many tears...and a pain in my chest that won't go away.
Pain.
And a burning desire for peace that won't come....
1 comment:
Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. And just because you choose to forgive someone doesn't mean you have to pretend that nothing happened. Nor do you have to put yourself in a position to be wronged again. And it certainly doesn't mean you can't still feel hurt and disappointed.
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