Tuesday, August 13, 2013

10 on Tuesday: Bad Things You Did As A Kid

So...it's been like, a gazillion trazillion years since I've done a "10 on Tuesday" post...


I just got this new awesome book called "Listography - Your Life in Lists." It has all KINDS of ideas for lists - and I was inspired to bring back the fun and funky "10 on Tuesday" posts. I know. You're practically quivering with excitement. You're welcome.

So...today's list will be 10 Bad Things I Did as a Kid. There's a reason I chose this as my first "resurrection" post...and that is because, just last week, my 20-year old son was visiting my parents. And apparently, they decided to discuss me. As a child. And all the Bad Things I Did as a Kid. While I wasn't there to defend myself. Gah.

So, of course son comes home and has to act all incredulous that his mother actually may not have been the perfect person that she tries to pretend that she is...but in my defense...I really wasn't all THAT bad.

In fact, I bet that I won't even be able to LIST an entire ten things...don't laugh.

So, in no particular order:

1. I once made my little brother eat a heaping teaspoon of flour. That sounds rather innocent, but it actually was somewhat dangerous, and yet hysterically funny, all at the same time. The moisture inside his mouth turned the flour into "glue" - and his mouth was temporarily glued shut - which caused him to panic, understandably. He then started hyperventilating, and little puffs of flour were coming from his mouth. I was all of about 9 years old at the time, and thought this was hysterically funny. My parents? Not so much. I was grounded.

2. You would think my brother would have learned his lesson from the above experience, but he was always a bit gullible, and willing to do pretty much anything Big Sister said. Hee. I was once able to convince him to swallow a heaping tablespoon of vanilla. Which he promptly spit right back out. All over me. I guess that was punishment enough, but he's NEVER let me live this down.

3. My parents bring up this next incident ALL THE TIME when talking about bad things I did as a kid - but, actually, I think it should be filed under "Stupid" things I did. I'll let you be the judge. When I was thirteen, I decided that my bedroom needed a makeover. I went to the garage, got some house paint, and preceded to paint my walls. However, most of the furniture in my room (bed, dresser, bookshelves, desk, etc) was WAY too heavy for me to move on my own - so I just painted around the furniture. Yup. I didn't bother to move anything - just painted up and over the furniture. Was that bad? Or just stupid?

4. When I was sixteen, I had a boyfriend...as well as a curfew. I didn't think the two went together AT ALL. So...I would go into my parents' bedroom a little before midnight (my curfew), wake my mom up and tell her I was safely home from my date, and then promptly go right out the front door and back into my boyfriend's car, to extend the date just a bit longer. Or way longer. I'm not sayin'....

5. When I was approximately five years old, I shoplifted a piece of hard candy from the store. It was wrapped up in crinkly paper - and of course, as I tried to unwrap it and sneak it into my mouth - I was so busted by my parents, since that stupid wrapper made all SORTS of noise. So much for being sneaky. My dad happened to be a police officer at the time...I'll never forget that he first took me back to the store where I had to apologize to the owner, and second - he put his handcuffs on me briefly and threatened me with jail. Gulp.

6. I was babysitting my younger brother and sister one evening, when brother and I got into a HUGE pillow fight. We were pounding each other pretty good with the pillows, when he suddenly jumped up to run away and hide. Not wanting to end the battle so soon, I threw the pillow across the room at him - where it promptly knocked off an expensive piece of artwork from the wall and busted it into a million pieces. Yeah. I got so grounded for that, as well.

7. I tried to smoke a cigarette. Once. I was hanging out at a friend's house, and yielded to temptation...but perhaps I inhaled wrong, because all I remember is my throat felt like I'd burned a hole in it. That was enough. Never again.

8. I had a tendency to skip school a little my senior year....My grades were good enough that I didn't have to worry, and it was just too much fun to spend the day with my boyfriend, rather than sit in a classroom. It was easy enough to forge my mother's signature on a piece of paper - and I knew just the number of days I could miss before I'd be in big trouble with the school. In my mind, grades were more important than attendance - and this was how I justified my behavior.

9. I was 9 years old...and I was a HUGE fan of the cartoon, "Underdog". Underdog was a super hero canine, who could fly through the air and rescue damsels in distress. I was convinced that dogs could fly - and so, I took our little dachshund and dropped her out of our 2nd-floor window. Needless to say, she didn't fly. Oh - don't worry; miraculously, she wasn't hurt, either - perhaps a bit shook up - but I got in BIG trouble for that. Honestly, though, it wasn't with evil or malicious intent that I dropped the dog out of the window. I was just...stupid. However, THIS is the one incident that my parents - and family - have NEVER let me live down. It has "hounded" me for years, and the story will probably be engraved on my tombstone. Gah.

And there we have it. NINE bad things I did as a kid.

Close enough.

So...what bad things did YOU do as a kid? Would your list include ten? More than ten? I'd love to know your OWN bad things....





Susan Wilson said...

I can't think of 10, but here are a few:
1 - cut my sister's beautiful, long, flowing, dark, naturally curly hair off (mine was fine, straight, short, and dirty blonde)when I was 6 and she was 5 on the night my parents met Elvis and Priscilla. (I locked her in the bedroom so my babysitter couldn't catch me.)
2 - swallowed a cow. Ok, not a real cow. It was a very small plastic cow head that came in one of those plastic bubble containers you get from a gumball machine. I mean, it was a cow. What was I supposed to do? So I swallowed it and had to be hung upside down by my ankles to try to get it out, to no avail. Then it was "cow watch" for the next 24 hours. Lovely.
3 - Routinely pinned my little sister down and started to spit on her face, only to suck it back up right before the "drip". Yeah, I could be mean.
4 - Brought my sister home drunk (safely, might I mention). Now why did *I* get grounded for that?
5 - Oh yeah, and there's that forge-the-note-and-skip-school-during-my-senior-year thing too. I mean, shouldn't we get in trouble for NOT skipping school our senior year?

Sherri O said...

I was dying at the cow bit - but the spit? You killed me. :)