I must warn you...if you are easily offended...or don't appreciate some juvenile, immature humor from time to time...then, stop reading.
Stop right now.
Because the story I have to relate is somewhat...juvenile. And definitely immature.
But so, so freakin' funny.
You've been warned.
Okay. For those of us left...I am COMPELLED to relate something my mother said yesterday. But to totally understand the humor in this, you must first know that my mother is...um...prim. And oh, so proper. As in, she could probably teach the Queen some things about manners and etiquette and what is considered appropriate for conversation...and what is not. You get the picture, right?
So...my parents recently moved into a new house. And of course, because of this, they are now in the oh-so-fun process of unpacking and arranging furniture and hanging pictures and decorating and all of that fun stuff. My sister asked my mom how it was going, and the following conversation took place:
Mom, sighing: "Oh...it's going slow. We just keep running into problems."
Sister: "Really? Like what?"
Mom: "Well...we tried to install a 32-inch television on the wall in the bedroom...but the bracket was wrong. Your dad ended up taking the television back, and got a 29-inch screen, instead. He FINALLY got the TV installed...but...(insert sigh)...I guess I'll just have to be happy with only 29 inches in the bedroom."
Oh. My. God.
My sister died. Seriously - she collapsed on the floor in laughter, tears rolling down her face, as she realized what my mother has inadvertently just said. Or implied. Because, yes. My sister - and I - are both immature like that, where our minds go immediately to the gutter. My mother wouldn't know a gutter if it rolled up and slapped her.
Mom, a little perplexed by my sister's laughing fit, asks: "WHAT is so funny???!"
My sister, gasping for air at this point, says, "What you just said."
Mom, clearly confused, replies, "What, that I can be happy with 29 inches? Well, I'm used to 32 inches, but I can get by."
My sister wasted NO time in calling me to relate this, and of course, always looking for an excuse to give my mother a hard time, I called Mom immediately.
"So, Mom...I understand you'll be happy with 29 inches in the bedroom, but you prefer 32 inches. I have to say, I'm impressed. With both you AND Dad."
Needless to say, Mom's not talking to me OR my sister right now.