My Nurturing vs My Nature

Struggling...

By choosing to spend a few weeks here in sunny Florida, I'm now realizing the consequences of this decision in ways that I really didn't imagine...

My sister is in the midst of her chemo and radiation treatments for her cancer...and although we've talked on the phone, I am not there to give her a hug or a smile or a word of encouragement.

My mother has been in the hospital since Saturday with the heart issues that first sprang up last March, and which we thought (erroneously) were resolved...and I'm not there to visit her in the hospital and give her my love and support and to see for myself that she's okay.

I found out through an email that one of my most favorite co-workers ever at the Red Cross office in Kansas City has had his job eliminated...and I wasn't there to wish him good luck and tell him good-bye.

Speaking of Red Cross, my fellow Kansas City volunteers have had to deal with several major apartment fires in the past week, in brutal, intense heat...and I wasn't there to help, support, encourage or just cheer them on.

A common theme, there...I am a nurturer by nature, and everyone that I nurture is not here. With me. I am an isolated nurturer, which goes against my nature.

I miss my Hubby. I miss my boys. I miss my little fur-baby pets...even Romeo. Most especially Romeo, my mischievous tuxedo cat who thinks he's King Of All His Domain.

They're all missing my hugs and loves and scritches...surely.

Sniff, sniff. Pity Party for One, please.

HOWEVER...

...on the BRIGHT side...

...this little "mini-move" has definitely shown that I am not ready to make it permanent...that I would really, truly struggle being away from my friends and family in Kansas City for months on end.

I now am reassured that we made the right decision in postponing the permanent move to Florida by a year.

As much as I am enjoying my mother/daughter bonding trip here, I am most definitely ready to go home in a bit and reconnect with the ones I love.

Until then...to all of my friends...family...coworkers...pets...who are going through difficult times...please know that although I may not be with you physically - you are all most assuredly in my thoughts and prayers....

Peace.