Monday, July 4, 2011

The Worst Day of the Year

As someone who suffers from severe kovtapyroergasoiphobia, as I do, today is a most-awful day.

Yes, indeed.

Today is the WORST DAY OF THE YEAR for kovtapyroergasoiphobia sufferers....

What is kovtapyroergasoiphobia, you ask?

Fear of fireworks.

'Tis true. I suffer from a most-unusual fear of fireworks.

My mom says this phobia began as a baby...she loves to tell the story of how she was changing my diaper on the evening of July 4th, 1962, when a most-deafening explosion occurred, and um...let's just wasn't a pretty sight. On my end. So to speak.

Well...I was only two weeks old...what did she expect?!

(And here is proof that there's a definite sadistic steak within my Mother, due to the fact that she even loves to tell this story. I mean, nothing sacred?)

So, all throughout my childhood, and even into adulthood, I dreaded - DREADED - fireworks displays and all of the accompanying loud explosions....Most of the time, you will find me staying at home, buried under my pillows, as the family goes out to the neighborhood displays.


My family used to tease me and say that I must be part "dog" - since it's a well-known fact that most dogs suffer from kovtapyroergasoiphobia, as well. I just like to think that my ears are extra-sensitive.

Even knowing that it's July 4th - and knowing that there WILL be fireworks - I still jump out of my skin at every boom...every bang...every pow.


Don't misunderstand my fear, though. I LOVE July 4th - what with the picnics, the hot dogs, the trips to the lake, and get-togethers with the family - and knowing we're celebrating our independence as a country....

But really...does it have to be done with fireworks???! That make loud NOISES??!!

Give me some chocolate cake and a nice glass of milk, and I could celebrate just fine, thank you very much.

So, think of me tonight, as the night skies light up and it sounds like World War 3 happening in my own backyard...send a little prayer up that I don't go fleeing into the night, trying to escape the thunderous booms that will last until the wee hours of the morning...

Have a little sympathy for all of the kovtapyroergasoiphobia sufferers out there.

We're going to need it tonight.

Happy Independence Day, my friends.



melanie said...

I do believe my middle one suffers from that. She was actually excited that our burn ban this year will prohibit fireworks. I haven't had the heart to tell her that I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will likely ignore the burn ban completely and will still shoot off fireworks ... and hopefully will NOT burn down the town in the process!

Mental P Mama said...

I think you are in good company...and you have lots of four legged ones in your camp, too.