Snakes On A Plane

On the flight down here last Saturday night, I mentioned previously that I sat next to a woman who entertained me for 3 hours with various stories...including stories about Floridian snakes.

Oh yes - it was truly a "Snakes on a Plane" experience - as she warned me about the dangers of the slithering, slimy serpents - and to be very careful about where I step while enjoying the Florida sunshine.

I laughed at the time, assuring her that in the two years we've had a house here, I've yet to see a snake.

So what happened on Sunday?

Yup. I see a snake.

Fortunately for me, it was slithering in the opposite direction of where I was walking - and being that it was slithering AWAY from my house, I was inclined to let it go on it's merry way. When asked to describe it later while talking to Hubby on the phone, all I could say was, "It was brown - and big."

Yeah, I'm known for my descriptive abilities...if asked to describe a car, I'll say, "It was red...and small." If I concentrate really hard, I might be able to conjure up, "It was red, small, and it was going really fast."

God forbid I ever witness a crime and I'm asked to give the police a description.

"Yes, your officer - I saw the suspect. He was a guy...and he was wearing pants." Hey - whatever I can do to help capture the perp.

Anyway, I thought it was ironic that I see my first snake - in TWO years - after talking with that lady.

Little did I know that my Close Encounters with The Slithering Kind was not over.

Today, I was messing around by the side of my house...re-arranging some landscaping rocks that have sat in a pile since the dawn of time.

Apparently, a kingsnake had taken up residence in those rocks...figuring since the rocks have been there since Caveman days, he was pretty safe.

(And let me just insert here that yes, I know I was the stupid one...piles of rocks sitting since Caveman days probably have a good reason to be left untouched.)

Anyway.

As I was moving some of the rocks, the kingsnake decided to let me know that this was HIS abode...slithering up into my face, effectively staring me down...and man, I am normally not known for how fast I can move, but I'm telling you, I jumped back 20 feet in a nanosecond...and then I had a full-blown heart attack...and I'm pretty sure that I was a half-second away from a dead faint.

Holy CRAP!!!!

Now, I know King snakes are harmless...unless you're a lizard...but STILL.

Coming face-to-face with a snake is NOT on my bucket list, last time I checked.

And if you ask me to give a description of this perp, all I can remember is, "He was black...and he was SCARY."

And thanks, Lady On the Plane, for talking about snakes. I'm flying home tomorrow, and I'm praying to God that I sit next to someone who wants to talk about rainbows and unicorns and lollipops. Or chocolate.

That I can handle.