At what point do you stop "nudging" your children? Or, do you ever stop?
I have an almost 17-year old son...this son has had to be "nudged", or "pushed", pretty much his entire life. Any new situation - any new adventure - he has had to be nudged...whether its the first day of school, riding a roller coaster, or trying out for a baseball team. In most every case, after he's been nudged, he's had a fantastic time. He just needs that initial "push" - that reassurance that it will be okay - that little boost of self-confidence that he sorely lacks.
Earlier this week, he didn't get nudged, and consequently, made a monumental decision that will definitely have far-reaching repercussions.... He was at his dad's for the weekend when this occurred, and when I questioned his dad on why he didn't "nudge" our son into making the RIGHT decision, his dad said, "He's almost 17 years old - he's an adult. I'm not nudging him anymore. It's his life."
And hence, the question of the day...at what point do you stop nudging your children?
I believe in nudging - no matter how old you are. I nudge my spouse; he nudges me back; and it's all good. I don't mind being pushed sometimes - it has helped me grow as a person. And I most certainly believe that my children should be nudged - or pushed - if they still live under my roof. Heck, I nudge the adult kids who no longer live with us - but I cleverly disguise the nudging as suggestions....You know, as in, "Honey, have you ever thought about doing THIS?" And I think the nudging has helped them....
So, I'm just curious as to what other parents out there think...To nudge? Or not to nudge?
That is the question...
Peace.
4 comments:
Maybe he's so used to being nudged he doesn't think of these things himself? I don't know, I'm just thinking of the flip-side.
You could be writing about my almost 18 year old son. It's a great question. I personally think we have an obligation to nudge and yes even push our kids, no matter how old they are.
I think it's situational too though. For instance, I won't nudge my almost 18 year old anymore to put his laundry out. If he doesn't...he can go without clean laundry. I do nudge him to get his school work done.
This is a hard question for me to answer.
I have two schools of thought...
But I have some strange circumstances with my kids.
I wanted to just say HI and now I'm not even answering your question.
Still nudging my children ages 44, 42 and 38. I also try to disguise it! I think they know me so well though. Love your blog.
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