The Dirty Song Chairman

I’ve been slowly and steadily still unpacking boxes from our big move last November. I’m down to the boxes that weren’t priority – where sometimes, it’s a total surprise when I see the contents, as in, “Oh! So THAT’S where this has been this whole time!”

This week, I stumbled across a box full of some of my old scrapbooks…which meant that unpacking came to a screeching halt, as I just HAD to sit down and start going through them to reminisce a bit.

Several of the scrapbooks were from my college days…and before I knew it, I was laughing out loud at some of the photos, cards, notes, etc that littered the pages.

When I went off to school, I had a desire to meet people and make new friends…and so it didn’t take long for me to pledge a sorority.

Now, my college was rather small, and so I had a huge, whopping choice of two sororities to choose from…. Okay, actually, that’s not true. I didn’t have a choice. My grandmother was a Chi Omega, and that just happened to be one of the sororities on campus – and so I was a legacy. I was a Chi-O from birth. If I’d even thought about pledging the other-sorority-which-will-remain-nameless, my grandmother would be haunting me still.

Being in a sorority was pretty awesome. Not only did I meet a wonderful group of girls, I also learned many things about myself…some of which I can actually speak of without blushing. For instance, I learned that I was an excellent Social Chairman – and to this day, I can plan one hell of an event. (Hence my mother’s continued nudging to be my sister’s wedding planner, which is still so not happening.)

Now you’re curious, huh? As to what else I learned that would cause me to blush. Okay...I’ll confess…In addition to my “official” duties, I had an “unofficial” title: I was the Dirty Song Chairman. I had an uncanny ability to make up some rather…um...salty…songs that were always good for a laugh.

While browsing through one of my scrapbooks, I came across the lyrics of a song that my sorority sisters wrote for me as a tribute when I graduated. Now, keeping in mind that my major was Education – with a minor in Psychology (I wanted to teach Psych/Sociology in high school), here is the song in tribute to me, sung to the tune of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” from Mary Poppins:

Super paranoia, schizophrenic and psychotic,
You should hear all (Drama Queen’s) songs,
We think the word’s, ‘erotic’...
Now she is a school teacher,
and not a bit neurotic,
Super paranoia, schizophrenic and psychotic!

She’s cute and smart and friendly,
A better Chi-O can't be found...
Boy she really knows her stuff,
And her mind’s quite sound.

But think about it carefully
And it will blow your lids...
The ex-dirty song chairman
Will be teaching all our kids!

Ahhhh, the memories….

Yes, won't my children be so proud to hear that their mother was the Dirty Song Chairman back in her day?!?! And don't worry - I'm not ABOUT to post any of the dirty songs that I made up back then. I'm sure I don't remember a single word of any of them. Ahem.

Peace.