Really. I am.
I'm cursed when it comes to presentations.
If you remember, awhile back I went to do a Red Cross presentation, and discovered that I had a projector...with a projector. No laptop. Which meant, no DVD/slide show. Curses.
Then, a few weeks ago, I went to do another Red Cross presentation, and discovered that I had a projector and a laptop (which was good news!)...but I had no cord to connect the two. Bad news. No cord, no DVD/slide show. Curses again.
Today, I had two presentations to do...on my way to the first one, I received a phone call from the organization hosting the talk. They could not find their projector screen. I said, "That shouldn't be a problem...we'll just use a blank wall." The lady hesitated, and then said, "You won't believe this...but there's no blank wall in the presentation room...it has a mural, windows, doors, etc...but no wall."
Seriously? No wall? Am I not cursed, or what??!! I really thought she was pulling my leg for a second....
She then went on to say that I could postpone the presentation, if I wanted, but I told her I was flexible and could "wing it" without the DVD/slide show.
I've become a very good winger. In fact, I am the QUEEN of winging. NO ONE wings it like I do. NO ONE. I have the crown of winging.
And so, for the third time in a matter of weeks, I winged it.
And it went very well, actually...thank you for asking.
It went so well, that the lady said she would request ONLY me to do any and all future presentations, because I obviously enjoy what I'm doing, and I had kept everyone's attention and I was just all-around fantastic (okay, I made up that last part about being fantastic, but really, can you blame me? My ego was feeling pretty good at this point, and so forgive me for going overboard....)
I did a presentation yesterday at the Missouri Lottery Association. I was hoping they'd give me the winning Powerball ticket in appreciation for speaking, but I guess they can't do that, darn it. It was nice to dream about it, though.
My second presentation today was at the Internal Revenue Service.
As I said to the IRS employees, "Is this not irony? Yesterday, I spoke where they GIVE you lots of money...and today, I'm speaking where they take all that money away...." They liked that...It's always good to get IRS employees in a good mood. Keep 'em laughing, I always say.
And I learned a lesson today...it is most definitely, MOST definitely a no-no to take a camera into the IRS. The security I went through today was incredible...all electronic equipment had to be removed from my purse...my iPhone had to be turned off; my iPod had to be turned on and THEN turned off (I guess to show it wasn't going to blow up), and then, to my horror, I realized I had my Flip Video Camera in my purse.
Dum Dum Dum....(said with a very, very ominous tone of voice)
The guard looked at it like it had napalm and bubonic plague and the Spanish flu all wrapped up together, and says, "You can't take that in."
"Even if I leave it turned off?" I really had no intention of turning it on...I mean, as much as I love the IRS (sarcasm), there's nothing there I would film....
The guard was most emphatic...."NO! You CAN'T take it IN!"
My car was parked only about 500 miles away...and I was cutting it very close on when I was due to present. I must have had on my best helpless, hopeless look, as an IRS employee standing there spoke up and said, "Oh, I have camera privileges...she's with me."
(And yes - before you freak out and call the IRS camera cops on me - I really WAS with this guy...he was the guy who was taking me to where I was presenting...so relax. He was telling the truth....)
Whew. I was not looking forward to walking 500 miles over a freakin' Flip camera. Sorry, I love ya, Sony, but seriously?
So, all three speeches this week went very well. I am done for the week, and tomorrow?
I am SO ready.