Warning: a serious post today. No snark. No jokes. Just a straight out plea from my heart.
There are times when I realize that being a parent is truly one of THE most difficult jobs in the world...
...and now is that time.
I am truly at the end of my rope with my 17-year old son, and I frankly have no idea what the next step is.
He's pretty much given up his senior year.
He's given up baseball, which was the love of his life.
He's given up on finding a job.
He's given up on completing his 50-hours of required community service in order to earn college tuition money.
And it now appears he's given up on his grades - which means that graduation in two months is now in danger.
Is he on drugs? I don't think so.
I think he's just completely and utterly terrified of growing up - of taking responsibility - of moving on to the next phase of his life.
In his immature mindset, I think he believes that if he just ignores everything, that it will delay the inevitable...and he can remain a carefree child with no responsibilities for the rest of his life.
I have done everything - and I mean, EVERYTHING - to stop this downward slide.
I've begged. I've pleaded. I've threatened. I've bribed. I've cried. I've screamed. I've cussed. And I'm trying, as HARD as I possibly can, to LISTEN.
But he won't talk.
How can I listen when he won't communicate?
He just shuts himself off and closes the door - both literally and figuratively - leaving me scared, confused and frustrated as I see him making not-so-good choices that could have far-reaching consequences.
I tell myself it could be worse - that he COULD be on drugs, that he COULD have broken the law, that he COULD have gotten a girl pregnant - and so I should consider myself "lucky" that what we're dealing with isn't as bad as those possibilities.
I keep waiting for the Magical Parenting Fairy Godmother to come in, wave a magic wand, giving me all of the answers and fixing all of my parenting problems....
...it would sure make my job of being a mother so much easier.