Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dial M for Murder


Dear readers: the story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent, which in this case, is not me. But you’ll see why.
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Monday, November 2: 9:00 am Telephone rings – Caller ID says, “Card Services.”

Me: Hello?
Lady: Is (hubby) there?
Me: No, he’s not. I’m his wife. May I help you?
Lady: We’re trying to contact him about some wonderful Identify Theft services that we offer on your MasterCard. When’s the best time to reach him?
Me: He works during the day….evening is best. ☺
Lady: Okay! Thank you! ☺


Tuesday, November 3: 9:00 am Telephone rings – Caller ID says, “Card Services.”

Me: Hello?
Lady: Is (hubby) there?
Me: No, he’s not. I told you yesterday that he’s not home during the day. You need to call him at night. He’s at work right now.
Lady: Oh – okay! Thank you! ☺


Wednesday, November 4: 9:00 am Telephone rings – Caller ID says, “Card Services.”

Me: Hello!!
Lady: Is (hubby) there?
Me: NO! Look – I’ve told you – he’s NOT HERE during the day! Quit calling during the day! You’re wasting your time! Please! Put it in your records to only call at night!
Lady: Oh, I’m sorry. Okay! Thank you! ☺


Thursday, November 5: 9:00 am Telephone rings – Caller ID says, “Card Services.”
Me: He’s NOT HERE! I’ve told you every day this week that he’s not here! Why do you keep calling during the day?!??! He WORKS!! You have to call at night!!!!
Lady: Okay! Thank you! ☺


Friday, November 6: 9:00 am Telephone rings – Caller ID says, “Card Services.”

Me: ARGH! Why do you keep calling during the day! FIVE times this week you’ve called, and FIVE times this week I’ve said he’s not here! How many more times do I need to tell you to quit calling during the day?!!! Enough already! Stop it!
Lady: But we have some great Identity Theft services we’d like to discuss with him. ☺
Me: I’ll tell you what to do with your FREAKIN’ identity services if you don’t quit calling during the day! HE’S NOT HERE!
Lady: I’m so sorry! Thank you! ☺


Weekend passes – all is Quiet on the Western Front. Drama Queen forgets all about the Card Services Stalker Lady.


Monday, November 9th: 9:00 am Telephone rings – Caller ID says, “Card Services.”

Me: THAT’S IT! I’ve had enough! We DON’T want your Identity Theft services because you guys are idiots that can’t seem to listen when someone tells you something! How do you expect to protect our identity when you can’t even make a simple note in your records to QUIT calling during the day!!!! This is the SIXTH time I’ve told you now in the last WEEK!!!!
Lady: But our services are great and…
Me: (interrupting) I DON’T WANT THEM! Quit calling!
Lady: When would be a better time to call? ☺
Me: AAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!


Tuesday, November 10: Newspaper Headline:

“Drama Queen Charged With Homicide After Reaching Through the Phone Line and Strangling Identity Theft Services Lady on the Other End.”

But it was SO justified.

Peace.

2 comments:

lacochran said...

I hear ya.

When I was a teenager, I worked for a few weeks as a telemarketer. So, a few comments...

Telemarketers get paid to make calls during their shift. So, they're going to call you.

They don't feel any onus to help people on other shifts make commissions.

Even if she sounded the same, I'm guessing you got a different person every day.

Finally, with caller ID, why did you continue to pick up? Blog material? ;)

Drama Queen said...

Thanks for the heads up!

I answered because I was getting PISSED and thought if I was PO'd enough, and conveyed that, they'd quit calling! Guess not, huh?!

{and it does make great blog material. DAMN this NaBloPoMo, anyway!}