Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Blog Fodder


Paranoia is running rampant through my family.

I first noticed it a few months back...strangely enough, right around the time I began this blog. Coincidence, you think?

When my daughter does something totally hilarious, (in my eyes, anyway), she immediately says to me, "I'm going on the blog, aren't I?"

When my husband does something totally stupid hilarious, he immediately says to me, "I'm screwed. This is so going on the blog, isn't it?!"

We now have a term for it in our house...it's called "blog fodder."

My husband received a wine "aerator" for Christmas. It's a little gadgety-gizmo thingy that he uses to pour his wine through to "enhance the flavor". The problem with it - as he pours the wine through, it makes all these terribly funny, gaseous-type noises... When he first did this, I didn't know if he was "aerating" himself or the wine...if you get my drift. I thought perhaps he'd had Mexican beans for lunch or something. So, the other night, I once again hear all of these funny, fart-sounding noises in the other room, and I holler, "You need to warn me when you're aerating!" And then, realizing what I'd just said, I clarified, "When you're aerating your wine, I mean...." He stepped into the room and rolls his eyes and shakes his head...so I added, for good measure, "Well - I guess you should warn me when you're aerating yourself, too. That WOULD be the polite thing to do, you know."

He looks at me again....blinks his eyes...and says, "You think this is so funny, don't you? This is blog fodder. That's all I am to you anymore - blog fodder."

This paranoia is now working to my advantage; I've discovered a great parenting tool in in.

When I want to warn the children about the perils of their ways - or if they're about to do something incredibly dumb or stupid - all I have to say is, "Watch out! If you do that - you'll be blog fodder!" Dun...Dun...DUNNNNN.....!

They'll look at me in horror - and then immediately cease and desist from whatever it was they were about to do. It's amazing.

Works on hubby, too. I just look at him and say, "I'm just warning you...blog fodder. That's all I'm going to say on this."

The problem is...I'm running out of stuff to post on my blog. Dammit. I need fodder.

Peace.

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5 comments:

Aunt Juicebox said...

My husband knows me so well - he will actually preface things by saying "you may NOT put this on your blog". Sometimes I ignore him, but usually he only says it when he means it, or man, would I have some great stuff to post. Sigh. Do they not understand our ART? lol

Sharon said...

Very funny and very useful. I can hardly wait for Sunday--we sing you know. ; ) BTW, is Mike a "good sport"?

Noelle said...

hahaha! that is too funny because i hear that from my kids all the time! they live in constant fear that i'm going to blog about their daily crazy escapades!

La'Tonya Richardson said...

That's funny! My family will also ask, "Are you going to blog about that?" Every now and again, I will tell them when I do. But I won't tell the husband. He thinks all I write about is the family. I have to remind him, the blog is MOSTLY about my experiences, although they are apart of them.

Mr. Husband doesn't read my blog. He's a little jealous, thinks I spend too much time with it.

Drama Queen said...

AJ - ART! You're so right! That's what it is - we're artists....!

Sharon - Yes, I'm blessed; Mike is definitely a good sport about all of this. I think he's secretly amused by it all.

Noelle - I think it's a good thing to have our kids live in fear. :)

LaTonya - I think my hubby is jealous of it, too... although he does read it. He likes to "guess" before he reads it what its going to be about. Sometimes he's right - and often times, he's wrong!